Last night Jon and I got a babysitter and went to a party at a friends house. A second rare night out (Out new babysitter is going away for three weeks). I am still new to this town and don't know a lot of people, and of course get shy and have social anxiety. In NYC everyone always sized you up, so I would get drunk and have incredibly bizarre conversations and then most likely never see the people I was talking to again. This would happen with anyone from the head of my husband's old company (me lecturing about the merits of Robbie Williams to an English executive) to a pr person, wanna be hipster, rock star whomever. The outcome was always positive - that I was funny and could talk to Osama Bin Laden if stuck next to him at a party.
Last night though it was different. I for the first time felt really out of place. I would try to talk to someone and undoubtedly they would pull my old move of after 5 minutes excusing themselves (and I wouldn't see them again). And there was a fellow New Yorker there who asked me questions at a spit fired pace (making me feel 1. like a total loser and 2. like I was at a job interview). Of course I got way too drunk, became way too depressed and had to go home. Bummed me out.
Tonight I went to a dinner party at Nancy's we had a great time, it was Jon, Nancy's family and Micheal + his son. Good conversation, food and maybe its the intimate atmosphere... i don't know. Maybe its that someone is old and formerly punk rock like me.
I just sometimes really miss NYC.
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