I don't plan on visiting a prison cell. This year anyways.
Regardless of my terrible absenteeism from the Monday Shank, I do however feel the need to provide you with one today. And mostly because I'm not carrying around a pocket full of hate anymore. OK, maybe still a little, but hate is such a strong word, no? Disliking strongly? Angry like a scared puppy? That last one might have been a little far fetched. Probably.
This weekend, while parking in a mall lot to have lunch at White Spot with a friend, I had the pleasure of being accosted by an ignorant bastard who obviously has a small dick. I mean, he HAS to have a small dick to be able to sit high above in his SUV and taunt a poor woman with her two kids.
Basically, he was straddling 4 parking stalls, for absolutely no discernible reason, and I chose to park directly in front of him, as it was the closest stall (that he wasn't blocking) to the restaurant door. Usually, I like to park a far distance away from any location for space reasons (IE: don't want some fucker in a 1980 Honda Accord slamming his broken door into my nicely painted one) but on this day the wind was INSANE and I wanted to get my kids indoors before they blew away.
According to him, that was a clear bitch move, and I quote "Did I do something to you in a past life?" I blinked probably 12 times before I could muster up a "Pardon me?" and he proceeded to tell me that there were a billion other parking spots I could have gone into (pointing erratically to vacant corners of the mall lot that were nowhere near the restaurant) and how inconvenient it was for him that I parked in front of him.
Did I mention he was inconveniently straddling 4 spots himself? Ya, I think I did.
Ignorant small-dick fuck, you are awarded my Monday Shank, because thankfully my children were with me or I might have shanked you for real.
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