Monday FEVER

Im hot.

hotter than you

Actually, hotter than ANYONE.

You know why?

Cause I have TWO, count 'em TWO job interviews.

I had *hoped* for a phone call today to set up an interview... but never imagined spening my afternoon on phone interviews, and lining up personal interviews. Exciting stuff!

And, as I have learned my lesson about posting on my blog anything job related, I will not go into the details. Call me for those ;)

yup, its official

Im Hot

A weekend post? WTF?

yup, I am posting on a Saturday. Who knew.

I have had some time to do a little bit of reflecting about all the shitty things that have happened to me this year....yup, it's all about me...and while I haven't really come to any conclusions about HOW everything is going to work out, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to MAKE it all work out. Make sense?

2006 is not going to be a year I forget, but more like a year I can attribute to my strength. I went through something extremely personal at the beginning of the year I may never fully recover from, at the same time I almost lost my twin brother. And only weeks after all that, I lost my first of two jobs. I honestly felt that I would not get through all of it. Do terrible things come in three's? They do to me! E's first lay-off came next, and then his second, shortly followed by my knee surgery and my Dad's sudden brain illness. I felt as though nothing more could possibly happen to us.

Now, two months into 2007 I have made the decision to STOP being a victim, and start making things HAPPEN! Good things, positive things, helpful things. And I can do it. Cause I don't quit. If 2006 has taught me anything, it has taught me that I am a fighter, that I don't give up, and that if I can survive all that without crumbling, there is nothing that I can't handle.

To those that have helped me along the way, I thank you. You all know who you are. Those special people that some days had an open year, other days had a voice to offer advice, and other days to bring me wine and wings when I have cried my eyes out. Those who keep their phone ringer on in case I needed them, who lent me their car and learned stick shift to drive mine. Those special people that have taken Sadie overnight to give us alone time, or have come over just to gab, drink, and smoke.... for no reason at all. And all of you who have written comments on here to motivate, pick me up, and make me feel special.

I couldn't have done all of this without you.

And I love you

OK...so now that your all crying....

Who wants to get shit faced ;)

no title

I've had an interesting day.

I had a hot tub AND a nap. Who does that on a Friday afternoon?

Oh yeah,

the unemployed.

At first I was sad. Then annoyed. Then frustrated. I went through being angry, and now I am just bitter. (wow, a lot of emotions for only 2 days!) It appears that I wasn't wrong when I said everyone knew what was happening, and even perhaps for quite a bit of time, and I was left to smile like a fool until Wednesday afternoon. I feel like an idiot. I feel like a child. But most of all I feel like an embarrassed teenager chastised for being immature. *this is me accepting responsibility as best I can*

And folks, that's about all I am going to write about my being 'let go' from now on. It seems that a lot of people come and read my blog for ammunition against me...and it also appears I am good at giving it. I am, as I mentioned yesterday, not as careful about what I write as I thought I was. *It took me three times to write that sentence, does it seem like its not grammatically correct to you? Totally hypotheical, please dont comment, cause really, I am way to smart to make any dumb grammatical errors*

So this topic shall now remain closed. I am in no mood for emails, shit talking, sticking up for myself, editing, and re-editing anymore. I am truly exhausted from crying, worrying, and stressing. (and editing *wink*)

But on a side note.... I DID get to go hot tubbing AND nap today.

That truly is the highlight of my week :)

Fired?

I decided to edit this post for two reasons.

First....

Because after some thought this afternoon, I am slightly embarassed. But let me be clear in WHY I am embrassed...I am embarassed that I have a big mouth. I am embarassed that I tend to think people are maybe a little bit like me and have the same sense of humor as me. I am embarassed because I tend to write things strictly to make YOU laugh, not considering those people who may find my blog (ok, snoop) and might take it in a completely different way. I am embarassed that I write for the moment, instaedd of taking the time to edit, revise, re-write, and edit again.

Second...

I think I was fired because of my blog. (Or atleast contricbuted to it)

Basically, I am embarassed BECAUSE I think my blog contributed to me being 'let go'. And I should probably note that I wasn't really 'fired' as they are being gracious enought to offer me a weeks pay. When really, they are not obligated to pay me anything since I was only there for 7 months.

Ok... so again....I edited this post. And I am probably going to go back and edit some more older posts as well. As my anonymous poster has pointed out, this blog isnt as private as I think it is. (Actually, I KNOW its not private. My settings are what they are because I want them that way) But I will revert back to my first reason for being embarassed...that I sometimes forget people who read this dont read it the way I intend for it to be read. And well... that IS sort of my fault since I do have this set to public. I have to take responsibilty for what may happen because of what I write. And while being 'let go' shocks me.... it happened. I have to live with that. And I have to move on.

I could get all pissy and bitch and moan about the comment left, but really, what purpose would that serve for me? Well, other than make me look stupid, petty, and sad?

Bugger... I dont know what else to write.

Anyone hiring?

What a day

Anyone else feel like standing on their office building and popping peole off with a sawed-off hand gun?

You do?

OK, well I dont, and I think your crazy, POLICE!

I kid, I kid.

But in all honesty, today has been extremely frustrating on so many levels. Most of it I cant actually post here (LOL) cause all that respect of privacy bullshit... (ok, MY privacy!) but some of it I almost feel like I SHOULDN'T be venting about it.

Who is responsible for the tragic, miserable, shitty things in your life?

YOU ARE.

And I need to stop pretending its everyone elses fault. I am an enabler, I am the reason that things are not working, because I dont do anything about it. DO I sound angry? I hope so. Because I am so close to the point of actually losing it. I have tried, oh I have tried, to be supportive and understanding, and suck it up when things arent answered that I ask. To the point of actually making a joke out of it, because its the only thing I CAN do without getting upset. I have done MORE than my share, and its about time someone else steps up to the plate and puts an equal share into this. I am so struggling with how to bring any of this up, how to speak my mind without being degrading, or insulting, without embrassing. And for what? To keep things the same because I am too giving? I am too relenting? Because really..being nice and supportive doesnt seem to be working well for me. In fact... I think its causing it to be worse. Which is why I am accepting all the responsibilty. There isnt much time for me to take action either.... I am so scared of losing something so important to me...yet so frustrated that I AM NOT important enough to fight for. Am I? I dont feel it. I dont feel appreciated,. I dont feel RESPECTED, I dont feel LOVED. I feel taken advantage of

And that, my friends, is what scares me the most.

*Beware shameless self promotion* (and totally embellished)

I absolutely rock. “TOOT, TOOT”

The undeniable gratification that one receives from successfully managing over 10 people at any given time is seriously like being high. Can you tell it was my first time?

Manager VIRGIN!!!

I cannot tell you enough how insanely PROUD I am for staying calm, collected, and professional, while I had many temporary staff approaching me to make all the decisions. I was important, I was THE BOSS, and I was AWESOME AT IT.
Seriously.

I really cannot write anymore than that on the subject. It is way to difficult to put down into words exactly how the two days at the VCEC went , except to say awesome.

Over and out

V-Day re-cap

I was due at the VCEC on Valentines Day at 6:30am. This did not allow for much mushy time. That morning, I woke up at 5:00 am and jumped in the shower. When I went back into the bedroom to change, E was nowhere in sight. I shrugged it off, thinking he was being sweet and making me coffee, and took the next 20 min to find clothes, put on my face, and clip up my hair. When I went downstairs, I was pleasantly surprised. E placed roses in a glass vase with red candy hearts, there was a dish of red and silver Hershey kisses, Valentines cupcakes, and a card. A card that I actually would have picked out. A black and white picture of a young boy and girl under an umbrella, with the words in side "Love is waiting in the rain for the sunshine". I almost cried.

Simple. Yet perfect.

Makes me feel TERRIBLE that I waited till today to purchase HIS gift. But as Trevor says... 50% off.

I was actually contemplating writing a whole post depicting my adventures at the Buildex show at the VCEC, and my superior skills at managing 10 Registration staff, and my utterly SUPERB professionalism and so and and so on... but really that sentence was enough wasn't it?

To be honest, I had a beer at lunch and I am slightly lightheaded, so typing is painful. You will actually get a post with all the details later cause i want to brag :)

Promise

My company gave me a hotel room last night, which means that I have been working from 6:00 am Valentines Day till 6:00 pm TONIGHT...and if my mind was clear and AWAKE, i could probably add up those hours quickly... i think its 36 hours. UGH UGH UGH.

I am tired, I am exhausted, I am sore, I am lightheaded, but most of all I am THRILLED.

yup, you heard me.

The show WENT AWESOME!

So I promise, tomorrow will be a fresh post depicting my adventures, as well as my wonderful V-day.

Stay tuned!

Valentines Day

Fucking Valentines day. Fucking falling on a weekday, Fucking Tradeshow happening on the same day, Fucking pressure

I wont be hone till like 10pm on Valentines Day, and even then, I have to be BACK at the VCEC for 6:30am. And to even add the cherry on the top of THAT sundae... Aunt Flo (oh god, the sundae reference is totally fitting!) is in town hanging around and pissing me off. So this Valentines Day shall be just splendid.

I have been so fucking busy the past few weeks at work, as you can all tell by my lack of posting, and lack of posting anything remotely funny. So I have not been abe to put together my awesome present idea for my hot stuff boyfriend. And everyone I have told about it, seems to think that its ridiculous anyways, and will take me too much time. Romantic, yes. Time saving, no.

So it looks like hes getting a big fat blow job and an ice cream sundae for Valentines Day.

God, Im funny.

Giggle

We all have this little button on the top of our web browser that looks like a clock with a large green arrow. This is our HISTORY button. Once clicking it, A separate page appears to the left with the history of that days, previous days, and previous weeks, Internet browsing history. I FOUND this to be a helpful tool when determining what kind of 'sites' my significant other was browsing throughout the day. (found is in capitols only cause I don't find this to be true anymore, I am completely speaking in the past tense for a reason) Giggle

My mistake? Telling him.

Giggle

Because now, my history only contains THAT DAYS pages, and even then, always just the MSN home page. Interesting. Even the pages I viewed that day (ones I view on a regular basis) don't even show up.

Weird huh?

Wow, its like magic

Giggle

*three cheers for porn!*

On a side note: I AM blonde, only disguised with brown dye. But that doesn't make me stupid :)

Giggle

Correction....

In my last post I said my life was SAD. I want to take it back. The Annonymous poster got me thinking... that it really is insulting to those people I love and care about if I actually do think my life is SAD. Because they are a BIG PART of my life. And quite possibly the reason behind my life being happy or sad.

In fact, MY LIFE ROCKS. I have never been happier. I may grumble, moan, protest, and bitch about shitty things that happen, but in all honesty.... I have it pretty good. I have a man I love, a daughter whom I adore and think is probably the most intelligent child in the world, a job that I can feel accomplished with at the end of the day, and a home that I can come to everyday with heat, water, electricity and a warm bed that's a rockin ;)

Plus, I have my bullet

What more could a 27 year old woman ask for?

Well...other than a hot affair with Brad Pitt. He IS on my Freebie 5 you know. Have your people call my people k?

Overworked and underpaid?

6 months ago I would have told you that I get paid too much for what I do. Mindless filing, data-entry, answering phones, glorified recepetion work so to speak, all for the wage of an entry-level-with-experience Executive Assistant in downtown Vancouver. I get paid fairly decently, I think, for a 40 year old woman who didnt finish highschool. (umm.. I am not 40, and I graduated highschool... this is purely hypotheical)

Today, I will NOT agree with that statement. Every day for the past two weeks I have come home achy, bitchy, grumpy, and every other word that ends in 'y' that describes something unpleasant. I wouldnt go so far as say I am completely unhappy... but more like frustrated with the amount of things I am doing in a short period of time, the expectations that are being placed on me, as well as the amount of OTHER PEOPLES work I am doing to save THEM time. Really, I am not an assistant. I am not even a receptionist. I am NOT a slave girl to pile work on just because I smile at you and don't tell you to shove it everytime you walk by with something more for me to do. I actually have a title. A title that in no way contains the word ASSISTANT, or RECEPTIONIST.

Just this morning, I was interrupted TWELVE times (ya, I counted) while I was frantically trying to get something done, in order to do something for someone else.

Now usually, one can argue that it is really my responsibility to let said co-workers know that I have enough things on my plate that I cannot find any room for theres, or that I may be able to get to it later, but here...at this office.... I really can't do that. It seems as though, unbeknownst to me, that I signed a contract outlining my job description, that was so VAGUE that I am basically at everyones mercy. Fun stuff.

So now, at 4:00 pm on a Tuesday, I am sitting here at my desk admist a humming fax machine, and whirring photo copier and a buzzing printer.... all with an achy back.... all of which are forming MORE WORK for me to do before I get to leave at 5pm to sit in disgusting traffic to get home at 6pm with an even achier(sp?) back from sitting in my car. Fun stuff.

The life of a middle class suburban worker bee was just described above.

My life is SAD.

I SUCK

One Down.... How many more to go?

Saturday night we put a back up offer on a townhouse. It gave the original offer 24 hours to secure their financing. ON A SUNDAY. We thought we had it in the bag. Fortunately for them, they came through with financing and we lost the house.

Fuckers.

This Place was perfect. 1400 sq ft, 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, a fucking soaker tub and walk in closet in the ensuite. Seriously, a DREAM KITCHEN, and an End-Unit. To even sweeten the pot, H lives just around the corner and she is to be my carpooler when we move to MR.

So back to drawing board

This bites.

*Colts rock*

...From the mouth of a babe...

...or fingers... or whatever. A little snippet from my anonymous friend JM *wink*.

**************************************************************
Now this is love. What is most amazing about this story is not that a 65 year old woman saved her 70 year old husband from being eaten by a mountain lion (!), but that the couple will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next month. By my numbers, that means they got married when he was 20 and she was 15. It could be argued that, presuming they dated before they were married, they’ve spent their entire emotionally and psychologically developed lives together. Holy fucking crap. My question: And she still wanted to save him from a mountain lion? I could see if they were on their honeymoon and still full of love, but after 50 years, I wouldn’t blame if she just watched the mountain lion going to town and said, "Eh, we had a good run." Hell, I can only date a girl for about two months before I stop opening doors for her or buying her surprise presents or kissing her before commencing intercourse. And she’s beating away a mountain lion with a four inch log (which, as any of my ex’s can tell you, is not very long)? I guess true love does exist. (And four inches is fine. Just fine. Have another drink and you won’t feel anything anyway, you judger, you.)

**********************************************************

I can easily argue that this man is probably the funniest 'writer' (I say that because I have not met him and dont want to say he is funny in PERSON without any evidence. You know, protecting myself and shit). We talked back and forth on myspace a few times, then he got all weird and asked me to remove his monthly newspaper from my blog ( it WAS funny! hmmmph) and I never responded cause I am a chicken shit. But I Digress.... every so often I will probably post some snippets from his blog because it keeps me entertained, and I want to share that with YOU!

All in my head?

Heres a tip for all you men out there in a serious relationship (not marriage...yet).... DO NOT, and I repleat DO NOT in the middle of a 'disagreement' say 'Its all in your head'. Really, there isnt much more I can say on that... I am sure what I just wrote speaks volumes about the lack of sensitivity most men have when it comes to these 'disagreements' . You want to win? DON'T say that. Think it. Do not let the thought pass your lips. If we are to respect your feelings, you must do the same.

Done.

There are days when I think I should write a book about relationships, dating, how to cope, and how to survive. Then, I read THIS and realize that I am not really that creative and everything I can think of has been done already :) So who hands out the creativity bone when we are born? Cause I think we need to have a heart to heart.

To Trevor: I am sorry that I have bored you with my lack of posting. Unfortunately, my world does not revlove around you.

*Nadine is hot*