When I first started this blog I didn’t always consider the ramifications of what I was writing. I mean, it’s just the internet y’all, I’m safe. The big bad world isn’t going to hold ME responsible.
It took quite a few times for it to really sink in that, yes, people read this Carmen, and yes, they’re going to hold you accountable for what you write. Clearly it takes me awhile to see the writing on the wall, errr blog. Whatever.
One such occasion came to mind the other day randomly, so I thought I would share it with you since I now find it absolutely hilarious what an idiot I was. I actually lost a job over it people. I.Am.A.Dumbass.
(Mind you, it wasn’t a very good job and in hindsight was a good thing.)
I got the job through one of those placement agencies. I was in between work since the company I had previously worked for downsized exponentially. I was desperate, so I took the first thing that was offered, even though it meant an hour long commute in the morning and an even longer commute home. I must mention that I am a maniac in traffic. I do not handle it well at all, and should probably have a big yellow sticker on my driver’s license and rear (possibly front as well) window letting everyone on the road know this. My drives home consisted of the following:
Me: (on my cell phone) My dear god someone please save me
V: (best friend) You are going to be ok…
Me: No! No!!!! This is insane! Asshole just cut me off. I am going to kill this asshole
V: Carmen, don’t do anything rash
Me: Fucking asshole just gave me the finger, I am going to rear end him!!!!
V: Carm…
Me: Aaaaaahhhhhhhh
My dear friend V looked forward to these daily phone calls I am sure.
Regardless of my absolutely terrifying commutes (for me or the other drivers on the road, that is still to be argued) I took the job and began my decent into absolute boredom. A front desk person/admin bitch really isn’t brain surgery, so despite my total enthusiasm at the beginning, I was pretty much left with about 2 hours of work to fill up an 8 hour day. This is where my blog came in.
I am one of those chatty office types that like to make the most of her time at work since we spend more time trying to support our family then we do actually with our family. Why make it even worse for ourselves by spending 8 hours to ourselves? I tend to make friends easily, and lose them just as easily I might add, so call me silly but talking about my blog at work didn’t seem like such a bad idea at the time.
(This is foreshadowing, as if you didn’t already know. I just like to insert bracket comments in my blog posts. Deal.)
One such person that was aware of my blog was the Office Controller. A bit of a hag-lady who thought she was your friend even though she talked to you like you were piece of shit most of the time and had her nose placed squarely on the Presidents ass. We had our ups and downs (mostly downs) but for the most part I found her demeanor kind of funny. It added some much needed entertainment throughout the day when I would get emails from her complaining about how much perfume one of our co-workers was wearing, or how loud she talked on the phone, or just plain bitching about anything. Now that I think about it though, I wonder if that other coworker was getting those same emails about me.
Regardless, she knew about my blog, and I completely forgot about it.
One day I decided to write about her. I aptly named it “Office Bitch” and proceeded to rip her to shreds. In my defense though, I did say I liked her.
But I am sure she didn’t really see that part.
That post remained up on my blog for quite a long time before it was brought to my attention that it was known. And it was brought to my attention by the President himself as he sat me down in his office to ‘let me go’. Not going to lie, I cried and blubbered like a big baby. And when I left that office, all eyes were trained on me doing the walk-of-shame to my desk to pack up my things. A few said good byes but most hid out in their cubicles to spare me more embarrassment.
And Office Bitch? She was front and center to give me a hug and wish me well.
I could lie and say this was my final lesson... but I bet a twenty I will do it again.
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