Hi! It’s me again!
Remember that time I called you a douche because you decided that your garbage was way more important than mine? Ya, that was funny. Good times, right? Remember when I said we could have been friends? Well, I am going to take that back, because now it’s been decided that you truly are an extremely weird individual and I have enough of those in my life. Including myself, really.
You see, just the other night while you were walking your dog, you decided it would be normal behavior to make obscene gestures outside my window. My friends and I were sitting at the kitchen table discussing this or that, and we couldn’t help but notice you standing in front of one of their trucks flapping your hands frantically and rolling your eyes and looking in our general direction. At first, we all thought there was something on the other side of the truck. Probably because it’s polite to let people know if some kind of damage was done to their vehicle. So remember when I opened my front door and asked you what was going on? And you stared at me blankly then kept flapping your arms, knees bent, leaning towards your dog? That was weird. And then I asked you again? And you ignored me only to mumble incoherently through the side of your mouth?
Ya, those were good time weren’t they?
I would just like to let you know that I now deadbolt my door even when we ARE home.
Only cause, well, you are weird. And a douche.
Also, could you stop wearing your housecoat at 3pm? Just askin’.
Sincerely, your normal neighbor
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