Mind Control. I have it.

I had a really weird dream last night.

Jessica Simpson and I were BFF’s. And she gave me all her pre-pregnancy clothes because she is thoughtful and realized that she’d never wear them again. Ummmm, Jessica’s Simpson’s pre-pregnancy clothes wouldn’t fit my left thigh. Also? She’s like 5’1. Her boyfriend is ugly too. Well, in my dream he was. Like short and skinny with a really bad case of acne all over his neck. 

He's not really short and skinny with acne. He's kinda cute.

 Dreams are almost always weird, aren’t they? Usually I forget them, unless I relay the dream back to someone almost immediately upon waking, or write it down, but it’s always the strangest ones that I remember most vividly.

Back when I was a kid I had a recurring dream that even to this day I cannot explain without making completely zero sense. It’s terrifying actually, and I can see it so clearly in my head but when I try to describe it I sound like a lunatic. Basically, it looks like a TV on some non-working channel with random straight lines that get all messy and squiggly. AND I AM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND WHEN THIS HAPPENS.

See? Lunatic.

Now, as an adult (sometimes) I have this recurring dream where my husband is someone completely different and unrecognizable (but handsome. I have great taste) and our house is OUR HOUSE, but not MY HOUSE and even though it’s a strange house and I know this in my head I play along like it’s my real life. While I am dreaming this one I feel as though I am controlling how it turns out. Every time I have this dream, I change the ‘plot’ in order to add something entertaining. Like one time, we went to Mexico. We did. This strange man and I. And I wore a bikini. And I was hot. Another time, we went to a party at our very dear friend’s house and we did keg stands in their living room.

That one was odd. I don’t even know how to do a keg stand. But apparently I am pretty awesome at it.

Do you have random recurring dreams you control too? Or am I lunatic? Rhetorical question to those of you that want to answer “lunatic.”