Concrete Angel

I am not in a great place right now. In fact, I have anger, rage, sadness, fear and pain surging though me.

Let me explain.

It started when I read a post, and forgive me but I can't recall the blog as I was all over the place following links from Wanderlust's Speak out Against Domestic Violence link up, referencing a story about a mother who murdered her 13 month old baby boy because HE CRIED.

Because he cried.

And so I cried.

I cried for this baby boy who just wanted his mother to snuggle him and make him feel better. I cried for this baby boy who for hours, minutes, maybe seconds knew the worst fear in the whole wide world while his Mom hit him. I cried for this baby boy who will never breath another breath because he cried.

I am not going to go back looking for the news article because it would just send me over the edge again and to be fair, I don't want to evoke that feeling in any of my readers who happen to follow the link because I posted it. I am even more so affected I think, because he resembles my little man. My angel.

I read that post and news article hours ago and still I can't shake the emotion. Or the anger. I am busy at work but my focus keeps wavering to this life lost. So avoidable and and so unnecessary. My eyes have welled up with tears so many times that I have had to rewrite sentences in work and personal emails.

As a mother, my children are my whole world. Any kind of scratch or bruise is terrifying for me and I try to avoid any kind of hurt with all my being. Sure, we can't prevent it all...but it doesn't mean we don't try. THIS IS OUR JOB. Being a parent doesn't come naturally to most, I get that, but how can you not love your own flesh and blood? The thought of being the person responsible for causing any kind of harm to the child that I birthed from my own body puts knots in my stomach and chills down my spine.

These women, these child killers, deserve to be hurt in the most explicit horrific way possible. No mercy should be given to them, as they have shown no mercy to their own.

I write this emotionally, so my words aren't edited. I write this straight from where my heart is at this exact moment. If I sound harsh or unforgiving it's because that is exactly how I feel and I make no apologies for it.

I just wanna hold that little boy and tell him he is loved. XOXO little angel.