Last night I left all the windows down in the SUV including the sunroof. I mean, it’s gorgeous out, right? No need to do the responsible thing and lock up your fucking vehicle. It’s not like we live in a shitty neighborhood anyways. Robberies don’t happen.
Um, wait. YEAH THEY DO. In broad daylight. My bad.
Two weeks ago, while we were out for the afternoon, some punk(s) stole a cooler full of drinks we had left in the carport, our brand new pressure washer, and (strangely) our spray attachment to our hose. My husband says its copper or some other metal (I tune out when he gets all manly on me) that sells for like kajillion dollars on the black market so he gets it. I am slightly confused by this however, since I think it was like $7.00 at Canadian Tire, but whatever.
So, I left the vehicle pretty much with a sign on the back window saying ‘STEAL ME’, but without an actual sign, and lucky for me that didn’t happen. What did happen however, was that while I was pulling out of the carport at 7am this morning a moth attacked my face and almost caused me to drive into the side of the staircase leading to my front door. Or the laundry room, I don’t remember exactly. I, and my children, were too terrified to notice the small details.
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| So I look like an Asian male here, but that's only because I stole this pic from the interweb ok? |
First, I screamed. Then they screamed. And then I miraculously discovered my foot was still on the gas pedal and I slammed it into park (In hindsight I should be given an award for realizing this) and then I jumped out of the drivers side faster than you can say ‘you’re and idiot’.
And my 9 year old saved the day. She swatted that moth right out the door and we carried on our morning. Three cheers for the mature 9 year old, she deserves it.
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