Seriously what's up with those women who keep 'pregnancy blogs' and are constantly updating on like an hourly basis every new little experience since riding the hooded stallion and pulling the goalie? (Thanks John for that one).
Are these women inbred or something? Robots perhaps? ALIENS?!?
My mind is completely baffled (and well lets be honest, mush... preggo brain DOES exist!) as to how they can garner enough ANY energy, let alone enough energy to post at a repeated basis all this...for lack of a better term...crap! Pregnancy isn't a walk in the park folks... so where the hell do these bitches come from?!?!
For lack of any endearing term, I have decided to call these women fucking in-human bitch-faces. They make me, and all those other pregnant women who can't lift their cottage cheese arms passed their nose, look... well like women who can't lift their cottage cheese arms passed their noses! I resent having it pointed out to me... repeatedly. **sigh**
Now, I should be clear, it's not just those Mommy-to-be bloggers... but I should include all those over-the-top giggly pregnant lady who spend half their day jogging through the park looking like they're smuggling watermelons under their Lu Lu lemon's size smalls... and the ones who waddle through their local shopping mall's with shit eating grins on their faces laden down with packages from EVERY baby store within a 5 mile radius (because they CAN walk 5 miles, bitches).. and even those that look stunning in their two piece bathing suits rocking out to the oldies during water aerobics while at 8 months pregnant still aren't wearing maternity clothes.
Fucking in-human bitch faces.
Can you tell I am miserable? I aint holding anything back am I?
Truth be told, I am actually not QUITE the fat ass I am making myself out to be... I just FEEL like that fat ass. I'm pretty sure the water retention has begun, and when my shoes start getting tighter I may lock myself in the bathroom until my water breaks.
Getting out of bed however has begun to be quite the chore. I actually have to roll myself. And it takes me quite a few minutes to even muster up the energy.
Some dumbass thought i could make it to April 30th before taking maternity. Oh wait, that was me.
Those fucking in-human bitch faces are the cause of everything. I swear. Even global warning.
No comments:
Post a Comment