I couldn't sleep last night and when I did I had miserable dreams. When I was at the museum last night, I received a very nasty email from my estranged younger brother essentially telling me that I was a "piece of shit" for calling my father to tell him about our dead cousin. Heavy and just wrong- right?
Well the email sent to me via Facebook started off that way and then turned into a ramble about all these things that I had supposedly done to hurt my father (none of which I had done, with the exception of sending him a text message to say happy birthday - but I was already embarrassed that I forgot so I wasn't going to call and I hate talking on the phone). Then more ranting about some extremely exaggerated things that Jon and I had done to hurt them (both my father and brother) and that we think that we are too good for them blah blah blah.
I should probably prefaced the above with the fact that my brother has severe anger and jealousy issues (doesn't the favorite baby boy of every family always have severe anger issues?) and is most likely bi-polar, but undiagnosed (my mother and several other family members are bi-polar) and would probably be mortified by what he wrote if only he seeked treatment and medication. Which he would never do.
Needless to say the email hurt me a lot even though none of it was true and again, even though I have Jon's family (with another brother named Jamie, same age just a few days older and Sarah) I still feel like an orphan at times and it really makes me sad and I feel really hurt and alone. I have never really felt like a part of my family and this in a way was the final straw in breaking it off with my father's side.
This is a heavy rant - so sorry to go there its almost like I had to write something to work out if telling my father to never contact me again is irrational or not - as he is the one who is still immature at 71 and really starts these "fires."
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