Deep "Gushings"........ better put your life jacket on.

It's a quiet Saturday.

The last one of June.......and then we will start July tomorrow. Where has the year gone??? Yikes!!
Today Don is freelancing, Gabe's at the new British girl's house with her family, which of late seems to be his new home. Weird but I guess he wants to spend a lot of time with them because it appears that after living in Baton Rouge only a few months, they are moving. More on that later.

Caleb is in Biloxi MS. working all weekend.

Luke just came home from spending the night at a friend's house, he was going to mow the grass like he always does, he's our fantastic "Yard Boy"...he does a good job and takes great pride in seeing our yard look so nice and the widow lady's next door as well. I just went in his room to see if he was going outside anytime soon and he was in bed sleeping with his mouth wide open. He is my own child that does that. It's freaky. Like a dead person or something. I always know he's in a DEEP sleep when that mouth is open. Guess he will be mowing later today. HA!

Ariel has been at "camp" the past few days.....if you can call it that.
They are "camping" in posh condo's off the Emerald Coast in Destin, Florida. At at resort that my family has stayed at before and it is NICE!!! What ever happened to church camps in the woods for $65.00 for a full week??? This "camp" cost the price of a last minute, plane ticket and is only for not quite 4 days.....2 days they are traveling the 6 hour trip back and forth from Destin to Baton Rouge. I am concerned about "camp" because I think this type of "decadence" for the youth is just preparing them for the "pedicure pampering" that the church has been laying on their people the past couple of years.
We are heading into dangerous waters...and dangerous times. Does anyone read the World news?? You want to try going here and reading up on what is going on in the world.....BBC.com

All this frivolous stuff is not a good thing because the church.....young and old....especially the new converts....will not know how to "suffer for Jesus" in the coming days ahead. There is a price to be paid when you encounter the cross of Christ and it's not a paint job on your toenails.
This type of behavior scares me.

Don't get me wrong, I am the FIRST one that loves a pedicure...I don't get them often either and certainly don't expect one from a church.
Well.....unless it's an old fashioned "foot washing" does anyone remember those??? They are very humbling and you don't get a foot massage with it.
God have mercy on us.

So am I a tad crabby today? A bit negative?
No, I'm really not trying to be. I'm just pondering some rolled up thoughts in my mind and on my computer while drinking my "British Breakfast" tea this morning and wondering what we have come to in our spiritual and natural lives.
Where is all this new thinking leading us? What are our "leaders" thinking?

What will happen when the money dries up and the food isn't there and the people scatter? This isn't doomsday thinking folks, this is reality and prophecy and it IS coming soon to a city near you.

I do know this.......my very first Pastor in Iowa, "Brother Riche," he was an AWESOME, Man of God, that no one has compared to in our lives since....the one that taught my husband and I SO much and we are so thankful for because had it not been for his wisdom and teachings, we wouldn't have gotten through half the "mire" we've seen and encountered up to this point, used to say this to our church.

"What you WIN them with, you'll have to KEEP them with." We have first hand witnessed this over the years to be true.

Don't mistake me, I am all about "EVANGELISM"......but there are limits....because remember,
"what you win them with you'll have to keep them with." It will have to be more entertaining and a greater show than what they already have seen. All you have to do is look to the children of this society even to see that what we gave them years ago......say Atari....Nintendo......etc, etc. is not enough to keep them entertained any longer. It has to be bigger, faster, better, more entertaining.

Some churches better stock up on "pampering" goods for the days ahead.....and you better make it ADULT sized "Astronaut Diapers" because that's where it's headed if you can understand what I'm saying.

Our young people are being conditioned today for their future as adults in the church. Are they lacking something? Suffering maybe? Hardship? Ugly toenails? Callouses? I'll admit my part if you will admit yours......I've fallen prey to the traps of "conditioning" as well. I try not to, I fight against it......but it comes in so seductively and if your not a part of it.....you an outcast. Been there done that still doing it.

Right,your branded as a "negative person" or not in the correct "DNA" system as others.

Don't get me started on that "DNA" stuff we have heard in churches and in all reality it's trash talk. Leaders need to knock that off. It's absurd.
By they way......I had a DNA test this year so I know something of how this process works and why you do it. Though my testing I found out somethings that have helped me immensely in my struggle to regain my health. I found out that I have 2 genes......one from each of my parents that have caused me to have a health issue.
It's okay......now I know what to do to "combat" that issue.

However I do have to say that if your "Spiritual" DNA is so screwed up that you can't be a part of a certain church because your "DNA" isn't the same as theirs and they are constantly using that type of condemning "jargon" so that you don't feel your as good as them or have the same "Vision of the house" as them.....then run for you life because someone is off base in their testings and teachings and it probably isn't YOU!

We in the Body of Christ should all have the same FATHER!

IF not then someone better find out who their REAL Daddy is.

The true "church" knows who their real "Father" is and act accordingly.
Yet IF they do indeed claim to know who HE is....then why don't we act like "Him" instead of making up our own DNA formula and get involved with a DNA "system" that makes us seem like some other man or woman out there that are "trendy, hip" "chocolate fountain" gospel teachings and on the cover of Charisma Magazine???
I really don't get it nor do I want to.

We are not called to be "Willy Wonka" to the church and I pray that we get that figured out pretty soon. We are already on "sugar overload" and it seems to be getting worse and worse all the time. We need sermons that give us some life and energy and vitamins to keep going instead of fluffing us up with cotton candy communication that leaves us with rotten teath and stomach aches after leaving a service.

Come on people let's "GET A GRIP" and get back to some basics.
Let's not be dumb sheep. We have a change to get it right. Let's not waste this time we have left on planet earth.
We need Basic Christianity 101 again,
we could start by reading the Book Acts.

"Ratatouille"

Very cute movie! Take your kids or Grandkids or just even someone else's kids like I did.
Yesterday I picked up my friend Shawn's kids for the afternoon so she could continue to pack up their house. Her family sold their home and it has been a whirlwind couple of weeks for her and her husband Kerry who was recently VERY ill and at the Baton Rouge General's ER with God knows what wrong with him. They never did find out what the root cause of his 105 fever and other symptoms, even after keeping him in the hospital for nearly 3 days. Odd.
Now they have to get out of their old house, and into the new one in record time. PLUS......prepare to lead a missions team from HPC to Vancouver B.C. in a few days.....not good. Pray for them if you will, they need it.

Being frustrated at not having the opportunity to help her during the past week due to my "tooth issue" long story....it is over now but it did rob me of about three valuable days this week, which I used to catch up on my reading with.

I offered to go get the Wilkerson children and treat them to a lunch at Taco Bell, and the new Disney movie "Ratatouille." It was a delightful afternoon. They are four very good kids!
However I wished I could have taken them to an art museum or somewhere that they could learn some history....but it's too HOT right now in Baton Rouge to do much more than sit in the air conditioning. I hate that. The movie was the best option to basking in the sweltering heat that I could think of. It was a really good movie too so go see it if you like decent, animated movies.

Happy Friday

I hate being sick. I am NEVER sick. So when I do get sick, it’s go big or go home. It seriously debilitates me. Yesterday, my head felt like it was 400 lbs. I could barely lift it off my pillow without being blinded with pain. My sinus’ have cleared up today, but I have a feeling it’s only being masked by the Advil Cold and Sinus. Here’s a tip: don’t take DAYTIME medicine before you go to bed. I didn’t sleep a wink last night.

Today is E’s Birthday. I bought the first thing I saw in Winners, but not because it was the first thing I saw, but because it was EXACTLY what I wanted to buy him. I hope he likes it. I even made a home made card, and not because I cam cheap, but because he likes those kinds of things.

Looks like we are going to get this basement suite finished sooner than *I* thought. I will admit, I have been a bit pessimistic (rightly so!) but now that we are not picking the appliances up till Monday, it gives us most of Saturday to finish all the un-finished projects (ie: flooring, cabinets etc…) Other than the drywall in the bedroom, and the framing of bedroom two, we should be all ready. Hmm, now that I think about it though… we still need a countertop. (mental note: LOOK FOR ONE!) E and his Dad think they can make one, but I am just not so sure that’s do-able. Their ego’s might be a bit bigger than reality :-)

We are having quite the dinner tonight for E’s Bday. Steak and Crab, yum! I will do my best to try and eat light (fingers crossed) in order to maintain my healthy eating. But as a side note: I did gain back 2 of the 4 lbs I lost. Damn you McDonalds!!!!

Crap, I fucked up LOL

My diet today has been shitty

1 blue berry bagel toasted with margarine
1 chicken caesar wrap
1 salad with italian dressing

Dinner will more than likely be salt and vinegar wings cause we have to go grab a bite before ball.

Oh, and last night I hate a shitload of KFC.

so um... i guess i will be packing back on those 4 lbs huh?!

Friday, July 6th

E’s Bday party is at our house after 7pm on Friday July 6th. Bring your significant other (if you have one) Booze (if you want to drink), and food (if your picky). I will be making appies. He turns 29.

I have been requested to bring hot girls for some of his hockey buds, so all you single hot friends of mine, you better be there!! (That means you Celyne).

So please come! I’de feel terrible if his Bday was a bust cause I waited till the last minute!

Monday. Fuck you.

Ok, so I ‘sort of’ cheated this weekend. I had Taquitos. But in my defense, I was too tired to cook anything and those are EASY! (I hate mondays)I lost 4 lbs too. So Ppfffffttttt Mr TMC and his French fries! (Oh, and I had McDonalds on Saturday, makes me wonder how I lost weight. Must be all that coke I do all day  )

I spent most of the weekend poly filling, sanding, taping and painting. I learned that I am a terrible painter, and should stick to the poly filling and sanding. I will also pass on the taping duties cause it sucked. I have a perma kink in my neck from looking up and now I CAN’T look up.(I hate mondays) We bought cupboards for $200 bucks (only need one countertop) and made an appt to purchase a stacker washer/dryer. E is picking up the stove tonight at Ikea if I don’t find something cheaper and more suitable on Craigslist. I found a few, but it all depends on if my emails get replied too. I am going to go check out linoleum after work too, since we don’t have enough laminate for the floor space of the kitchen .

Just writing that paragraph has left me exhausted.(I hate mondays) So can you imagine how DOING it has left me exhausted? Even my fingers hurt. (not from typing, from sanding!)

After all this, I hope I never ever after put together a basement suite again. Ever.

My diet today:

1 egg on nut bread with low-fat cheese
Half a chicken breast
(I hate mondays)
Half cup of wild grain rice
Half cup of corn

No clue whats for dinner.

Peace. Out.
(I hate mondays)

"Hat's off" to Her Royal Majesty

Even if you don't like her. You must admit, the woman has some GREAT HATS!!! For some odd reason, I was just looking at the website for the British Monarchy and came across some very lovely photos of Her Royal Majesty in some of her grand hats. She does have her own "millinery staff" to make hats for her and they are doing a great job I must say. Her hats get better and better don't you agree?
I wonder how many she actually has.
I am guessing that the Queen is the "Imelda Marcos" of hats.

I do know this, that when "The Queen," as I call her, came to America last month to visit Virginia, they had to use a van to carry her hats in from the airport and to the various places she was going.
Can you just imagine? I mean they must have just been sitting in that van in their proper boxes just like "cakes being delivered to a wedding" and really, they would be just as "scrumptious" as a cake when you would look at them and less fattening- "A literal feast for the eyes!"

Well, honesty I am ALL about hats.

I have a few, but not enough and most of mine are black. That's a bit somber isn't it?
In fact, I even wore my "Princess Diana" hat that I bought in her memory to my Great Uncle's funeral a few years back. I had purchased the hat the year she had died, while on a trip home to Iowa for the Christmas holidays. It was fitting to have such a stylish hat in the cold Midwest.
Problem was, we lived in Louisina and the weather rarely warrented wearing a a black wool "Princess Diana look-alike hat" even in the dead of winter.....so since my Uncle's funeral was in Missouri, in December, in the midst of a blizzard, it seemed "right" for me to wear it I felt.

That was until we arrived at the church in the small town where the service was to be held. Upon I was once I got inside my Father told me that he felt I was "to give the entire Eulogy"....yikes, I already had my "Princess Diana hat on.

Frankly, I didn't know if it was "proper" to speak with a hat on at a funeral or not, however, "death waits for no man" so I did the eulogy, hat and all. I think it gave me more confidence actually while speaking at such a sad event. I didn't break down once. I felt very strong inside. Maybe it was the hat.

Public speaking wasn't something new to me and I am not bothered by doing it, but I believe the hat was an "accent" as far as the service went. I mean it was black after all, black is a sign of "mourning" right? I think it added a bit of "mood setting" to the occasion. Even though some of the things I shared were funny during the eulogy the hat, added a seriousness to what was happening overall I guess. All I know is that in times past people USED to wear hats to funerals all the time.

Regardless of how I felt, I know my Uncle would have loved it I am sure. Not the hat so much but the eulogy...well, probably the hat too. He himself wore hats. The old man type like Bing Crosby would wear and he wore some nice hats when we would go hunting, or fishing, which he did all the time.

My Uncle Charles LOVED hunting and was an avid outdoor sportsman. His passions were hunting and fishing....not hats. Hats were for him mainly practical, for warmth, or to keep his head protected. He was bald on top with hair on both sides of his head so he could get a burn if he didn't properly cover his head, yet, maybe he wore them for style too.

Come to think of it......when I was little, I can remember him wearing the felt "Bing Crosby" hats when he and my Aunt would go somewhere like when taking me and my sister Jenny somewhere or to church and such. I can still see him wearing them. There was always this tiny "feather" sticking out of the hat band to dress it off I guess. Funny how you remember things like that. I guess I liked hats even way back then.

I don't have the bright and frilly ones like the Queen does - maybe one day. We just don't have occasion to wear them in America unless you attend the "Kentucky Derby" and I think that is a shame. I really am NOT interested in going to the Kentucky Derby, but I may have to attend it one day just so I can wear a really great hat out in public without being mocked.

Some people wear hats at Easter. I remember buying a really big, white hat to wear with a blue suit I had one year for Easter. It was a great get up. Fit for "a queen."
I'm no longer into the wearing of the
"Easter Sunday Glam Package" anymore, so I am not sure where my big white hat went to. I think I remember seeing it awhile back neglected, and out of place in the hallway closet covered in plastic and dust.
I need to find that thing. I could wear it in the Secret Garden at least couldn't I?

Next year, we are praying about a taking a special trip to celebrate our 30th Wedding anniversary. Of course we will be going to "you know where" and if you don't know by now where that would be, please DO ask me and I will give you WAY TOO MUCH information about the area.

I may even consider pulling out the "Princess Diana" hat to take with me just in case I run into a certain "hat wearing crowd" along the way. You never know.

Just as life would have it, my special Uncle always wanted to go to that "place" I've always loved too.
Although he and my Aunt were ardent travelers and went all over the United States, they never made it out of the country for whatever the reason. My Uncle Charles and Aunt Hazel were unable to have children of their own but devoted their lives to teaching Sunday School and working with children of all ages their entire lives.
My Aunt was even presented an award right before she passed away for being a Sunday School teacher at their church for "50 years."

In their life time they did many kind and noble things for people, and this I know, they loved my sister and me very much. All through our lives growing up, they took interest in us. They did and said things to and for us that impacted both me and Jenny in fabulous ways.

Once their lives were no longer, and their estate was taken into account, we learned that they made a small provision for both my sister and me. We were honored and blessed that they thought of us both again, even at the end of their journey on this earth.

My sister bought a new bedroom suite to remember them by with her money.
I took a different approach and put my money into a special savings account for a "trip" that I knew I would take one day to the place where they weren't able to travel to. I will honor their memory in that way.
Oh, and I may just buy a new hat while I'm there, and a "colourful one" at that.
No more black hats for me.

Hummm......I wonder if the Queen is getting rid of any of hers anytime soon....
for cheap?

My love/hate relationship with food cont....

Day One

So after my little whine-fest about how fat I *think* I am getting, I have decided to for-go Jenny and do it myself. Not because I think it’s expensive (which it totally is) and not because I don’t think it works (which it totally does!) but because I need to take responsibility for myself, and not rely on some ‘program’ to essentially do it for me. I am a big girl! I can do this on my own…I know I can. So I eat healthy and exercise, what is so hard about that? (Ya, easier said than done)

So I am going to document my food. If it bores you, skip to the other parts of the posts because I am not going to make you suffer through JUST my food intake, I will supplement it with some of my funnies :-) , I promise!

Breakfast – I egg with a slice of light cheese between two pieces of 12 grain toast, Coffee.

Lunch – Bitter green salad with red and yellow pepper, Red Pepper and parmesan Vinaigrette, Water

Dinner – BBQ Chicken Breast, Broccoli, Rice, Skim Milk.

I am sure I am gong to snack a bit… but this is MY PLAN…. If I cheat, I’ll let you know… reluctantly…

So Saturday night is Girl’s Night at my house. I called all of you last night, but only ONE person answered their phone (ok, their boyfriends phone because she NEVER answers her own cell phone. I keep telling you that your phone is a pointless bill btw…) E has hockey, so we have the house to ourselves to get wild and crazy. Celyne, try and get a sitter…but if not, bring ‘em. It’s not like we don’t have the room for a sleepover!!!! Drinks, appies, conversation, porn, pot...whatev ;) Or we could clean the basement suite... whatever tickles your fancy (j/k!)

Yesterday I was browsing 'Things Carmen Says...' www.celyne.com and just about peed my pants. I can't even rememebr all of them (Ie: Coming all over my face) but I can totally see myself saying that. (mental note: think before you speak)

Untitled

So Dallas was hot.

And that’s about it. Moving on.

Putting together all the necessary things in place to build a basement suite has been nothing short of a nightmare. Especially when you don’t REALLY know how much money you’re going to have to do it all. (Touchy Subject iam not even going to dig into right now) I am trying hard to do as much as possible through Craigslist, but even that’s a headache with measurements and such. Our kitchen space really isn’t all that big, but anyone selling full kitchens with appliances included, have enough cupboards and countertops for a full-size kitchen. Sure, we could buy it all, but who wants to dispose of all the leftovers? Not me! And I don’t want to go through different people…I want it all included so we don’t have to make 100 stops in order to get everything. One stop shopping rules.

E wants to leave the kitchen as carpet. Who does that?! I want laminate flooring. We have a bit to use from my parents, so I am going to really try hard to talk him into it before we install the kitchen. Cross your fingers for me on that one because I really don’t have much of a say on anything when it comes to the house. I do all the research, and in the end its me just nodding my head when HE makes his decision. Fucking blows. We have one more weekend to get it all done for our friends to move in and he is telling me not to panic, it will get done. Well sure it will…when I DO IT, and I CLEAN (which I already did), and I FIND EVERYTHING. Like today, I called to say that I found some carpet CHEAP at End of the Roll, and he acted like I was pressuring him, and like it was no big deal and not to book an appointment for installation, that he will do it. You know, I really want to just let him do it all, so then I can sit back on the 1st and say ‘I told you so’. Because honestly, at the rate he is moving, we wont have renters till October. He says to trust that things will get done. But if I don’t do them, and I don’t worry, WHO DOES?

Well that vent is over. But stay tuned next week for more… because I am almost 100% nothing will be done this weekend and I will be bitching and moaning again.

Trust ME

Father's Day and more......

For Father's Day, my children, and I took Don to the "World War II Museum" formally known as the "D-Day Museum" in New Orleans, for a tour. We've been there before but it's been a few years and when you love history like my husband and I do, especially WWII history, going once to that type of museum isn't enough. There is so much information and so many exhibits and photos that you just can't ingest it all in one visit. PLUS they add in new exhibits and things all the time.

We had planned the day as a "surprise" for Don so we didn't tell him until Sunday morning when we needed to get ready and he "over dressed" for the occasion. HA!
I had to make him "dress down." Funny! Maybe he thought he was going somewhere "fancy" or receiving some sort of "award" for "BEST Dad of the year" or something.....however, that wasn't the case, so I told him what we were doing and he realized that wearing shorts with a simple polo shirt and "Crocs" were appropriate attire.

Once arriving, you see a mixed, barrage of people of all ages, nationalities, and various races, there doing what we were there to do....learn and remember.

Over the course of about 3-4 hours, you are inundated with hundreds of photos with corresponding information about them, various exhibits, and listen to first hand accounts via movies and videos of courageous men and women who fought to regain the freedom of most of Europe and the South Pacific and ultimately......retain the freedoms held by those living here in America.

When I think of the D-Day invasion and the war as a whole, I totally can't imagine what it must have been like to live in that era.
EVERYONE was affected. Everyone you would have known had some loved one fighting somewhere in the world, wither it be in Europe, or Africa or the South Pacific. Everyone you would have known would have been doing "their part" for the war effort. There were no choices about that like there are today. This was done as a "nation" for the benefit of the world.

I entered the Museum wearing on my right wrist a silver colored, braided, metal, bracelet, in honor of my Grandfather....."Herman Hirner" who had made it while he was on board a navel ship in the South Pacific. The one I was wearing he had made for his wife, my Grandmother. He made a tiny one for my Mother who was a small child at the time. My Aunt Pat has a ring that he made from a coin during his Navy days as well. I'm sure his "jewelry making" was a result of "boredom" and trying to find things to do to keep ones self from going crazy from fear and wondering.


For all the years I've known my Grandfather....and that's alot, HA! He never will talk to me or others about the war. We knew he was in the Navy, we knew he was in the South Pacific, but from there, it's all been vague. Even my Mother and her siblings didn't really know what he did during the war because he wouldn't talk about it and with my Grandmother being deceased now some 23 years, I thought we would never learn what had happened to him to make him so grumpy about his war experience.

Since the movies that came out like "Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brother's" and other serious war flicks, my curiosity had stirred greater to know what was my Grandfather's story. Then two years ago, Don and I went to visit him in Missouri and we were able to "coax" a bit of VALUABLE information out of him and we were so excited.

My Grandfather was 27 years old when he signed up to join the Navy, that was a bit old I thought compared to most of the men plus he had a wife and 2 small children at that time...my Mom and My Aunt Pat...they were both under 3 probably at the time.
I asked him "Why did you do it, why did you sign up to join" and he said....."because I felt I needed to help fight." Good answer.
Especially since both of his parents spoke German.

His Father, my Great Grandfather "Melchoir," was from a small town called "Schwäbisch Gmünd" that is in the county of Baden-Württemberg. It's the area known as "lower Saxony," the South/Eastern region of Germany.

His Mother, my Great Grandmother, "Angelique" was from Aus Saus Lorraine.
Which back then ....one day was France and one day Germany. HA! Today it's considered France.

My Grandmother when writing to me once about my Great Grandmother's countrymen said this to me in a letter "they must have been a fighting bunch of people." HA! HA! Ummm......I think history proves she was right about that presumption.

My Grandfather was a mechanic in America, when he signed up for the Navy. They put him to work on what we have all come to know as the "Higgins Boats" which was a type of military personal "landing craft" made right in New Orleans. These boats were highly effective in manuvering the troops to the beaches once they got off of their big boats.

My Grandfather who as I said earlier was in the South Pacific, told us that once they got to the beaches, that his job was to immediately "tear down" the engines and rebuild them back quickly because all the coral and sand had messed the engines up by the time they had pulled the men up to the beach to unload them.
Sometimes he said they did that "while bullets were flying over their heads" because the men that landed were engaged in battles sometimes as soon as they got off their Higgins boat.
We had never known this about him and his time in the Navy. He had never opened up about it because it was too traumatic for him to talk about. We didn't get much more information from him that day .....but we had heard enough to impact us.


I have learned that ALL families have a history, within history.
We all have a story to tell and that is what makes us "who" we are. Some things our families experienced may not have been so pleasant, some things may have been shocking and offensive. Whatever it may be, we can learn from it and hopefully be better people ourselves as a result of whatever happened.

I think that is what happened to not only America but to many Nations of the world during those 6 long, hellish years. People had to rely on each other, making them one big "family." Had they not banded together, they might not had made it. Alot of men were gone, off fighting, women had to have their babies without them, and then raise them for years alone. People had to plant "Victory Gardens" to help with the food supply. Men and even women had to work in factories, producing everything needed to fight a war. Many things were rationed, from food to tires to gas, to ladies nylong stockings, you name it.
Did people complain? I don't believe they did, not like today. Why? Because their Brother, their Son, their Dad, their Uncle was somewhere off fighting and they wanted life to be "easier" on them "over there" where ever there was, and they wanted them to come home.
Today, we have NO concept of this thinking that our nation had in the 40's.

I don't see or know anyone who makes any sacrifices due to the war now days. This is a good and a bad thing. I mean it's great that we don't have to suffer the consequences of the war we are currently in. That is unless you have a family member who is in Iraq or Afghanistan. It's BAD because again, we can't relate to how our Grandparents and or parent's lived. We go on our merry way, not thinking much about our "soldiers" who are overseas and it's wrong.

They and their families are making huge sacrifices especially in their family lives.

I see Patriotism waning in the face of our nation.
Mainly because of all of us who are becoming tired of seeing our boys killed every day in this war we can't seem to "get a grip on." I hate seeing the news when another young soldier's life has been taken from this earth and especially if this young man or woman is near my city and several have been. Even recently a young man from Zachary was just killed. It grips my heart even more the closer to home these soldiers are.
As a Mother of THREE sons, and a daughter, I feel for those Mother's whose sons and daughters
"gave the ultimate sacrifice." It's so sad.
I am by no means a "war advisor," but in my heart I don't feel it can be abandoned yet.
What if our men had given up during the hard times of WWII?

When I think of D-Day on Normandy beach, I am totally amazed. In the first 24 hours of that massive invasion, America lost approx. upwards of 5000 men that day alone. To have been a wife or mother on that day of a soldier must have been totally frightful. Yet, it was a turning point of the war in Europe.

When this war first started, I sent packages and cards and letters to soldiers.
I was "all about supporting our troops"....now I am sad to admit I haven't sent any packages or letters or cards in ages. I can't exactly tell you why I've let up, complacency maybe? Probably. I just am not "connected" like I was before in the early stages of the war. My friends had sons over there, then my niece went. They all have come back now and some are out of the military even.
Now I don't have anyone "related" to me or that I somewhat know involved in the war any longer, but that fact doesn't help all the thousands who are STILL over there.

I hope and pray we can hang in there and help make things right quickly in Iraq and then bring our soldiers home once again. I know that is their families wish more than it is mine.
I ask all of you reading this, to please consider our soldiers who are all over the world, but especially those who are in harms way in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Please remember to pray for them and support them in anyway you can and I will as well. Thank GOD my Grandfather made the same decision these soldiers have today, through realizing that freedom is the right thing to fight for and signing up was "the right thing to do."

Freedom isn't really free, this isn't just a cliche......there REALLY is a price attached to it and someone DID pay the price for it for me and for you and more than likely with their own lives.
Otherwise, we might ALL be speaking German ourselves today and not because our Great Grandparents did.
Get my point?

I hate planes

I leave for Dallas tomorrow.

I am not really fond of planes, to be honest. But, I always have that chance the American governement wont even let me into their country. I don't expect problems.... but hey, you never know right?

I shall be back Wednesday. If you micc me, text me. If you call, I will angrily pick up and demand you pay my Telus long distance and roaming charges.

Then call you a bitch

Bon Voyage!

I love food

I am getting fat. And I don’t want to hear anything different, so stop yourself from clicking your mouse on “Add a Comment” if you’re planning on typing anything remotely close to ‘No, you’re not’.

I sort of saw it coming…slowly. But it has been the last 6 months that it really became apparent to me that I needed to watch what I was eating. But knowledge is power, only if you LISTEN to it. I refused to.

I have always yo-yoed with my weight since I was a kid, and while dieting sucks, I can’t really remember a time that I didn’t have some kind of fad diet on the go. (If you call steak, potatoes, corn-on-the-cob, and booze a fad diet, but I digress….) I was pretty much at my heaviest when I was pregnant, and not because I had a baby in my stomach but because I ate. A LOT. Too much, and too often. Really, eating for two doesn’t necessarily mean eat as MUCH as two full grown adults can in every sitting. Every night I would go see my friend who waitressed at this local whole in the wall restaurant and order a strawberry shortcake. I would eat it, along with everyone else’s when they couldn’t finish. (Chocolate brownie cake, banana split, anything on the dessert menu) My reasoning was ‘one can’t hurt’…. Well one or more a day can. And by the time my precious bundle of joy came along, I was closer to 250lbs than I was 200. The exact number shall remain undisclosed :-). I may have lost a bunch of weight in the delivery room, but I was nowhere near ‘average’ for quite some time after.

It took about 8 months for me to finally realize that you can’t use the ‘I just had a baby’ excuse forever. I could visualize myself at my child’s graduation explaining to whoever was unlucky to sit beside my fat-ass ‘Oh, I’ve had children recently. I plan on losing the baby weight’. I went on the ‘starve yourself while drinking slim fast’ diet, and while successful in such a short time (26lbs in a month and a half) the results weren’t lasting. I didn’t gain ALL of the weight back right away, but slowly over the following year, I gained about 15 lbs back. I then decided to join a few ladies at work on Jenny Craig. I invested my $20, and picked out my menu ($120.00) for the week, and decided that if I didn’t lose anything the first week, I would string myself up and save the world from another obese whiner. Shockingly, I lost 7 lbs my first week. I can’t even explain the accomplished feeling I had when I stepped on the scale. Nothing short of exhilarating though! I continued on the diet for about 2 months… 2 long broke months…. And lost about 25 lbs. I was at my lightest weight since high school! I bought clothes in size Medium, I was wearing a size pants I had only dreamed of fitting, I was proudly showing off my new body and feeling much more confident! I went off jenny thinking that I was ready to go maintain on my own. I guess you could say I have a love/hate relationship with food, because I love to eat, but I hate myself afterwards. I don’t suffer with a sweet tooth, but I crave those home-style meals laden with 1500 calories a plate.

It’s been two years, two happy FULL years, but I am now almost back up to the post-pregnancy weight. I can’t fit into any of the dress pants I wore last year, I feel a double chin coming on, I am no longer able to hide my ‘boob fat’ in a tank top, and I can’t wear shorts for fear that someone will notice that my thighs rub together… sometimes *snicker*. (I can’t accept it yet…!)

I don’t feel pretty anymore. I don’t feel confident. I don’t feel attractive. So why can’t I get off my fat ass except to go get one of those Timmy’s donuts someone was kind of enough to bring in to the office this morning?

I am Divorced

Has a nice ring to it, no? I must say, that after 8 years of marriage (6 of which we never saw each other) Today is the happiest day in ALL OF IT *snicker*. I used to say that my marriage lasted because we never saw each other, not to be funny (well, maybe a little) but more to hide my frustration that I had no control over the situation. I really didn’t… that’s what happens when you marry an American and want to divorce: They get to decide how, why and when.

So here is some background…

Back in, oh I’d say early 2003 I googled my ex-husbands name (I LOVE saying ex-husband now and actually KNOWING its true!!!) to see if I could find him and get the divorce going. Most people would give up on page 3 or 4 of the results page, but I trekked on. I think it must have been the 13th or 14th page before I stumbled on a personal website of him and his girlfriend. (The girl that he started dating 6 months after I left). I was happy for them, and I mean why wouldn’t I be? He wasn’t, isn’t a bad person… just not the one for me. And besides, I wasn’t the perfect wife. He deserved a woman who would treat him as he should be treated, with respect. So I tried contacting him through the email address on the site, and I can’t recall exactly WHEN he replied, or even what was said…. But the conclusion was that he was filing for divorce and would have the papers sent to me. They did arrive, signed and notarized by him. I couldn’t help feeling slightly nostalgic seeing his handwriting, but I went and got my portion signed and notarized as well. This is where the one and only funny part comes in. Before couriering them off, I bought a new car. WITH the divorce papers securely tucked away under the passenger seat of the trade-in. I went back to the dealership when I noticed my mistake, but unfortunately my trade-in had already been destroyed. I notified him right away and was assured that he could re-file with the same online service he used before.

And then a few more years go by. No more email responses, no more personal website with is girlfriend, and no more search results on google.

Then, on another whim, in mid-2006 I googled again. This is where I found a myspace page. Not one, but three. One for him, one for his girlfriend, and one of them together. Still, at this point, I am happy for them….and think it’s great that they have stayed together over the years. Just out of curiosity though, I started browsing their group site. Under the comments section I started seeing well wishes for their upcoming wedding in July (2006). I really and truly feel out of my chair in shock. To my knowledge we were not divorced, so how could a man legally married to me, marry someone else? I sent approximately 25 + emails to him, his wife, AND group myspace account with no responses. I threatened, I pleaded, and I even swore that I would hire a private investigator, but still my requests went unanswered.

Then in January of this year I received and email from a ‘new’ email account I didn’t know existed, stating that his myspace account had been hacked into, and none of his responses to me went through. He said that he filed for some kind of abandonment divorce (cannot recall the EXACT terminology) and that the procedure was expensive and lengthy, but that it had been completed. I obviously questioned it, knowing that he had my contact information all along, and I was fully capable of participating in the divorce decree. He stated that he had hired a private investigator to find me, who was unsuccessful, and that he had to take out an Ad in the local paper for two weeks (an Ad stating that he was searching for me) to finalize the divorce without my knowledge. I took this information to a Family Lawyer here in BC who told me that while possible, it would have had to of been filed illegally by my ex. He said I had two options: Challenge the divorce on grounds that it was done fraudulently, thus annulling his new marriage, or accept it, request copies for peace of mind, and move on. I chose the latter.

When I requested a copy of the divorce papers he emailed me PDF of ONE PAGE that just had the stipulations of the divorce, the reason for this will become clear later on in this post. I needed the cover page of the divorce documents in order to obtain the Case #, Court it was filed in, and the Judge granting the divorce to put my mind at ease that he wasn’t ‘faking’ the divorce. He refused to send this to me. Well, I don’t even really mean REFUSED, he never actually replied to my emails and never sent me anything.

Now, 6 months later, after many many many emails by myself with intermittent responses from him promising to courier them over to me (even going as far to request my address so I would have to sign for them) I finally learned the courthouse that the divorce was filed at.

Today, I called them. And today I learned some interesting information. Yes, I am divorced, and yes it occurred on January 19, 2007 at 1:30 pm…. But make note of this: This date is a FULL SIX MONTHS after his marriage to his new wife. (This is why he sent only ONE page of the divorce settlement, and why he has procrastinated on sending me copies) He did not want me knowing the date…because that would be admitting that his new marriage is actually a fraud. That would be admitting that his marriage is in fact, not legal.

But I don’t want to rain on this parade… because really? What do I care that his life is fucked? One day, she will find out, and one day, he will lose another wife…. But until and after then…

I AM FUCKING DONE!!!!!!

Sweet action

10 LONG years

Saturday was my 10 Year High School Reunion, and despite all my fears, went VERY well. It was so ‘neat’ (for lack of a better word) to see how everyone ‘grew up’… I put that in quotations because not EVERYONE grew up. At one point when I was walking to the bathroom I overheard one girl to a group of people say ‘They asked me to wear a nametag and I was like, if they don’t know my name, they don't NEED to know my name”. I almost burst out laughing. But other than that one experience, there really was no cliques, no segregation, no one traumatizing the ‘geeks’, and no one judging anyone. I saw a mixture of people socializing with each other, groups that never hung out with each other in high school sharing tables and laughter. I saw wallets being opened with proud bursting faces as they showed pictures of their kids. I saw many at the bar pounding back shots and clinking their glasses in salute (I was one of them!) and I saw so many people just walking around from person to person hugging, laughing, and sharing stories.

Not everything went swimmingly though, and we will be filing a complaint with the pub for their behavior. During the planning process we were quoted $19 per ticket, and we charged $20 (as did the pub when taking orders over the phone) in case of extra costs accrued from people showing up and not paying etc. When we were given the bill, the owner of the pub did not take off much of the money she received from over-the-phone sales, even going as far to say that some people never paid (we will be showing her credit card receipts when bills come in the mail) and she charged $19.99 per person instead of the agreed upon $19 (which in retrospect should have been ok since we charged that much but they wouldn’t have received much of a tip!) so many people had to dig into their own pockets to pay the remainder of the bill, while the owner hid in the back of the pub and refused to come out and talk to us. We heard from several staff members that this has happened before. Interesting piece of information that we would have liked to know beforehand. Not only was this an issue, but she cut off our comedian half way through for ‘swearing’. First, no one could hear him anyways because their speaker system was a mess, secondly every song played throughout the night had some form of swearing in it, so why does it matter that he was doing it live? Thirdly, he was a LTSS 1997 grad and deserved to be putting on a show. We provided them with over 140 alcohol purchasing patrons, and all we got was a big FUCK YOU from the owner.

Despite the behavior of the establishment, the night was awesome. I was so happy to see my best friends from high school and plan on keeping touch with all of them. Makes you wonder how you fell out of touch to begin with, no?

Hot child in the city......

Gabe catching a nice suntan.

I got a newsletter online yesterday from Blair and Dina Bonin.
They are some people we know who are Louisiana "natives" who live with their six children in Belgium. That is rough huh? HA!
I know how you feel but these people are missionaries and GOOD ones too, so I am sure it's not as "comfortable"for them as it would be for most people. Especially with SIX small children. However, I know when you think of missionaries, a person always tends to think of them being in "Africa" or some other hot, sweaty place in this world.
Hang on, just wait until you hear this story.

I wrote them ( The Bonin's) back yesterday afternoon just to "touch base".....missionaries DO need to hear from "home" and also they need "encouragement" you know, they have hard jobs. Missions work isn't always as "glamorous" as we seem to think it is or it's portrayed to be by movies or church even. There are many, many heartaches and hardships involved.
Okay enough of that.

Anyway, in my e-mail to them I told them how "hot" it was getting here and basically they can be thankful they are in Belgium instead of Baton Rouge.

This morning I check my e-mail to find that I've gotten a nice e-mail back from Dina, the wife, and she tells me that "it's getting hot there as well and they don't have air conditioning."
While reading the e-mail I am thinking to myself of course, that "I would much rather BRAVE the 'hot summers' of Belgium than I would here in Baton Rouge." Plus most all Europeans DO NOT have air conditioning. That's just the way it is......
I think because it doesn't get AS HOT in Europe.
Otherwise, they would have them, right????

Also, let's not forget what Belgium DOES have instead of air conditioners.
Belgium has, hands down some of the GREATEST chocolate made in all the world!

I've been to Brussels so I can attest to that FACT, and they have Belgium waffles, the real ones, and lovely hand made lace. OHHHHH......and the scenery....and the houses are like little fairy tale, "Gingerbread houses" every where and
oh yeah,....for breakfast we had chocolate filled croissants at a little restaurant in the town square. YUM!!!!
How bad can it be to live in Belgium as compared to South Louisiana???
I'd like to try it one summer.
In fact, when I went there it was JUNE and I have a cherished photo of me and my oldest son Gabe who was 16 at the time on my dresser to look at every day.
We were wearing jackets and FREEZING!!!
Huummmmm...........
Must be the "global warming" that is heating it up in Belgium so early this year.
HA!

Okay then, so for all of you that "think" it's hot where your at....I DARE you.....TRY living in "South Louisiana"......ugh!
I think I want to do that "Snow bird" thing that old people do. Did I say old? Sorry if that offends any of you......yes, I know I am progressing, nicely, myself to the "old" realm. Please don't remind me....I used to live by the "your as old as you feel" thing well...since I've been ill and now I'm "altered" a bit..that theme isn't working any longer. HA! My body is feeling ALOT older than my mind and inside feelings are. Bummer.

Anyway back to my ranting about the hot weather.
I mean really, we have been very fortunate here in Baton Rouge because we had so much rain and cool weather for what seemed like the entire month of May. My "pool group" (that would be "water related not barroom.") could not even meet but once for the whole month because it was either "too cold" or raining" Imagine that! So that cool front saved us from the extreme heat hitting us like it normally does by May. Alas, now the heat has remembered where we live.

There are a few benefits of the heat.
One is cooling off in the pool, IF you can find a pool to get in. Many people here in town have them, we sadly aren't one of them, although that is on my shopping list for our next home. However, I just happen to have a lovely friend who renders the use of her wonderful pool to several of us to use for "water aerobics" three days a week.

Secondly, and this is going to sound VERY vain......suntans.
HA! HA! I know, I know that is ridiculous. I've always held to the opinion that..."I would MUCH rather see "tan fat" than "plain white fat"....that's a good point right? As a result of the sun and the heat we are all getting nice tans.

Doesn't this make you want to RUN down to Louisiana. I mean besides the crazy politics and corrupt politicians we seem to cultivate, we have this "peppery" weather as one of our local TV forecaster's Pat Shingleton calls it. I like that description, because our normal summer days are like a recipe of "hot cayenne pepper and black pepper, mixed with STEAM." UGH!

This is why I would want to do the snow bird thing. Go north in the summer, stay south in the winter.

After living in Louisiana, for umpteen years now I can NOT do those cold winters up north, even though I AM from the glorious Midwest. It's fine in the summertime. Not as humid, yet it does still get pretty hot at times. I could still live there in the summer and come home say......in November, say maybe after Thanksgiving. Then come back south until about the end of May, first of June.....when it gets "peppery."
That would work......basically, six months, here, six months there. Wherever "there" would be." HA!

I just need a home up north now. We will have to work on that 2nd home issue, or else we could just go to Belgium for the summers.
Now there's a thought I like.

hey, I am alive

Wow. It’s been awhile. I deserve a spanking.

Just to get it out of the way, I will say that I have changed my settings to approve all comments. I am sorry if this causes any inconvenience, but it had to be done. Shockingly I have elicited another slew of retarded comments and I am just plain sick of it. I don’t point people out just to put the spotlight on them, in fact I very rarely use names. I don’t put words down here for everyone to read and make judgments either. I put words down FOR ME, and if by chance I get a few laughs, I am happy. Unfortunately there will always be those people you cant satisfy, and choose to reflect their unhappiness by writing degrading comments (or make phone calls, but that’s a whole other story I don’t even want to delve into)

And so, I move on.

I should, for the sake of saving face, apologize for not supplying those very few of you that do loyally come here for entertainment with a post worthy of your attention. But, in my defense, the last month has been nothing short of chaotic. From delusional people, packing and moving to cleaning and psycho landlords, I have been exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. But all that being said, it has been worth it!

Who knew my new house was white? I sure didn’t! After the whole May long weekend of scrubbing walls, shampooing carpets, and disinfecting kitchens and baths (as well as pressure washing the outside) our new house is completely different, and completely wonderful. For those of you that have seen the before and after, you know what I am talking about…and for those who only saw the ‘finished project’ (I curse you first for not helping!) you cannot fully grasp the condition this house was in when we bought it. Thankfully, our vision became reality…despite my misgivings of course! I don’t want to say I am pessimistic (although E would!), but I definitely had my doubts!

Work has been slightly nauseating as well…. not because I don’t like it (because I LOVE IT!) but because the procedures and structures change daily and its tough sometimes to keep up. I may do something one way today, and tomorrow there will be 15 different exceptions to what I did the day before. It’s a constantly changing industry, things are always moving, so I need to slow down and go with the flow…a very difficult thing for a high strung female! Vegas is in trouble when they send me there in July!

This Saturday is my ten year high school reunion. I am getting dumb questions from grads like ‘what are you wearing?” and “are you getting your hair done?” and all I can think about is how much weight I have put on. Talk about self-absorbed! Really, I don’t look bad. I know it, people tell me all the time, but I can’t help thinking about that ONE girl who’s now a fitness model LOL. Ya, ya… get over myself 

Oh, and since I am a total drug whore, anyone have some I can take with me… you know, to share with all those nerds I hung out with?

Seriously.