Osama bin having better days, but Obama’s birth certificate is OLD NEWS, right? (I am trying to be clever)

For the last 6 or so years I have belonged to an online forum that began as a ‘spin-off’ of sorts from the Plenty of Fish forums. Yeah, I did the online dating thing once, but funny enough I had more fun trolling those forums raising havoc than I did on any one of my dates. Once a whole gaggle of us got banned from the site (numerous reasons, but all boiled down to really funny people creating random internet fights on POF just for our own entertainment), some of the more tech-savvy individuals created a forum that was invitation only, and has since grown to over 100 profiles. Most are friends in real-life, some are still faceless behind their computers (well, clearly not faceless since they have profile pictures but you know what I mean) but ALL are pretty funny with a keyboard.

See how this has nothing to do with the subject line of my post? I am getting there…promise. Back stories are important so I feel like I make a teeny bit of sense sometimes.

Every now and then the topics get serious, and usually I am pretty annoyed with how superior sounding so many of them try to be when weighing in on something debatable. Sure, the intelligence on this board is off the charts, but in my opinion no one needs to try and impress anyone with how educated they are. WE KNOW! Now stop using big words like ‘substantiation’ or ‘permutation’.

Yesterday’s talk obviously veered toward Osama bin Laden’s supposed death and the controversy over Obama’s birth certificate. The original poster was venting her frustrations over some Facebook friend of hers whose ignorant comments almost made her want to ‘de-friend’ her. Below are the ignoramus’ words in their entirety. Please note all grammatical and spelling errors are hers and I accept no responsibility:

"No evidence of the body and they say they gave him a traditional burial.  Why the hell would they show someone who is an alleged mass murderer an ounce of respect by giving them a traditional burial?  Also, there's no evidence of the US military plane that went down during and because of Osama's alleged assassination.  And why didn't they tell anyone INCLUDING ANYONE from Intelligence in Osama's country that they were going to kill Osama.  And if Osama was apparently in "a very obvious million dollar compound" why did it take the US ten years to find him?  They knew he was there nine months ago.  And if Osama was really a mass murderer, like hell he would be living in an obvious compound.  And how the hell could the assassination been "brief and intense fight".  Osama was/is allegedly the most wanted man in the world.  There's just no way his demise would be brief.  It's just a horrible campaign plug for Obama to take attention off his birthday certificate controversy and the fact that he's not an American.  He's a communist and Obamageddon is coming."

Her follow up comment:

"His mother took him to Hawaii immediately after he was born and filed his birth record there.  He's not from Hawaii, he's from Kenya.  He was born on August 4, 1961 in Kenya and his mother left Kenya and moved to Hawaii 4 days later and filed Obama's birth certificate in Hawaii saying he was born on August 8, 1961”

A forum poster’s response:

“Sure, Obama's Mom spirited him away to Hawaii immediately after giving birth in Kenya. `Cuz, you know, she knew what was at stake, and that he was to become America's first black president. And it would've been so easy to do, in 1961”

And this is how I dumbed myself down just a little bit yesterday…and why I have not been able to formulate an educated blog post since. I have lost funny.