Carmen? I think you need to unplug something...!

Truly, I am quite the individual. Sometimes, I do things that while funny to some people, are so fucking hilarious to me, that while I usually mentally write out a blog post to share, I almost always forget to post it.

This is NOT one of those times. Because this time, it was so unbelievably fucking funny to EVERYONE it was a hard one to forget.

Last Friday was the long awaited travelling day home from Vegas. I was pretty tired and missing my family that I just couldn't wait to get out of the damn hotel and to the airport. I packed so hurriedly, that all my clothes were rolled in balls and shoved in to my suitcase that I literally had to fight the zipper to close it. And then realized I still had 7 pairs of shoes on the floor.

And this suitcase was over sized **sigh**

In all my half hazard packing, I forgot that my trusted little sidekick was still connected with it's battery. Now, before I left Canada, I had taken the bottom piece off to avoid any kind of airport-clearing disaster... but this time, it failed to cross my mind.

**READ: trusted little sidekick: vibrator**

So, you can kind of see where this is going, no?

As I am discussing my rental vehicle return with the nice guy from Thrifty, my coworker (I shall call him Polly) thoughtfully cleaned out the van and took our suitcases out of the back. (My suitcase was over 50lbs!!! Too heavy in fact, that the check-in lady at the counter made me move 4lbs into HIS suitcase!) Out of the corner of my eye I see Polly's eyes bug out of his head and a shit-eating grin appear on his lips.

"Carmen? I think you need to unplug something!"

What?! unplug?! I was genuinely confused as to what the hell this man was talking about. EVERYONE knows we don't have power supplies in our suitcases... duh! Seriously, I am shaking my head in wonderment right now  as I type this that I could be so dumb at that moment.

I loudly repeat his question in all my confusion, loud enough for the nice guy at Thrifty's to look on in confusion as well, but CLEARLY catch on much faster than me. All of a sudden, it dawned on me what he was talking about... and about a millisecond later for me to ABSOLUTELY DIE IN EMBARRASSMENT!

Yes folks, my vibrator was going at full speed in my suitcase and everyone in the rental care return garage knew it.

And that was when I did the vibrator-walk-of-shame to my suitcase, dug around for about 5 minutes (remember, disorganized suitcase in my packing haste, finding even a vibrator going full throttle was quite the chore!) to only have to try and hide the fact I was turning the damn thing off with no one seeing what I was doing all at the same time everyone knew what I was doing.

And this is why folks, don't bring a trusted sidekick with you when going on an airplane. It WILL go off. Well unless you aren't as fucking dumb as I am and you take it apart.

Lesson learned. The hard way.