Night at the Rox(bury)y

Oh the horror.

Saturday night I overlooked my fear of downtown Vancouver and took the plunge into the nightlife once again. I have done it less time than fingers on my hand, so it's easy to forget to hustle and bustle of Vancouver in the wee hours of the night.

First: Parking. What a fucking nightmare. Heather and I drive by Granville Street at 1/4 to 9pm and saw NO line-up. This was a good sign. Well, WOULD have been a good sign if there was ANY parking but sadly we failed to realize ACDC was in concert that night so more than the usual amount of bodies were taking up those valuable parking lots. We finally found an out-of-the-way lot over on Davie and ??? (started with an H) that we soon discovered was a lot father away from the Roxy than we initially anticipated. Struggling in our sexy stiletto's, we finally made it to Granville street only to be faced with a pretty decent sized line-up.

Now, usually this means the bar is empty and they want to give the illusion that it's packed to passer-by's so to entice them to wait and be apart of the excitement. Not so. After about 40 minutes (and some shenanigans with a stag - more on that later) we made it in, and were greeted by a packed bar. Funny enough, I *thought* it was full, but it ended up getting busier and busier as the night wore on that the line-up for drinks was disgusting. Thank god for being female...cause skipping lines is EASY!

The line-up itself was entertaining. For those of you that know Heather... you KNOW anything can happen. God love her, she was a hit! There was a unfashionable group of 20-somethings in front of us that happened to be on a stag. They were immediately enamored with us, and spent the 40 some odd minutes trying to get us to full fill the 'grooms' checklist on his shirt. I would like to say I stepped out of my box and participated, but sadly I did not. Heather was front and center (literally) and I believe filled out a few of those check boxes quite nicely. I wont go into details... but let's just say she pleased MANY.

So from there on in, we had out' protectors'. Mind you, there were moments we might have needed protecting from some of them... but overall we were pretty safe. The poor beasts saved our table and chairs for us over and over again, bought drinks, and discouraged the slime balls from making any moves. But as the night wore on, and more drinks were consumed, these beasts tried a few unfavorable little things that we not-so-nicely shot down.

WOMAN POWER!

The night wore on at a steady pace (as did the liquor consumption) and by 1pm I was DONE. I managed to make it till 1:30 but convinced Heather I HAD to get out of there.

Now this is where it gets hazy.

I recall sitting on the curb across the street and talking on the phone while Heather ran back in to pay her tab. I recall eating (scratch that: DEVOURING) the most delicious piece of pizza in my life (do NOT, i repeat, DO NOT steal my mushroom!). I recall walking back barefoot because I couldn't take one more step in those god dam stilettos, looking down the whole way while holding Heather's arm so I didn't step on a needle (random thought to even have, but hey, I have a fear of Vancouver), and I recall crawling into the back seat of Heather's car while we waited for our DD... aaaaaand that would be about all.

Heather tells a completely different story. Apparently I am Funny As Hell.

So there you have it. My night at the Rox(bur)y.

I am so old.