Seriously??? ARE YOU SERIOUS???

I think that I finally have to face that I am no longer a hot chick. That title is reserved for the young trampy-esque girls that go to the bars. I just look like their mother. Their HOT mother.

C'mon, I need to validate myself just a little bit.

On Saturday night a group of us went out for Sarah's birthday. When we arrived at 10:30pm the place was dead. I remember when 10:30 was kind of late to head to the bars...I mean it wasn't THAT long ago...so I was all stressing out that there would be a line-up and we would have to wait outside like a bunch of retards... but I guess the hot people stay at home until their parents are asleep then they sneak out to make a grand entrance. I say 'sneak out' because I could swear some of the kids that showed up around midnight to pack the place were still in highschool.

Overall the night was pretty fun. I didnt embarass myself (much), I didnt make a second trip to the bank machine to take out money I didnt have, I didnt slam a random punch into any girls face for looking at me funny, and I didnt get any random loser-ish guys try to pick me up. Seriously, I attrack them like flies. My forehead is stamped with "Will be nice to losers because I am too nice to tell you to fuck off".

But this is where the title of my blog comes in. I am still realing from the words some 15 year old kid (well, he was obviously older than that to be in the bar, but he sure LOOKED 15) tried on me. So I am standing in line for a drink behind some gang bangers (Affliction shirts anyone? I saw atleast 50 of them) and one of them over to the side thought I was just DYING to get my ass fondled by him. Well, it was more like molested, because there was no grabbing, more like rubbing. I am nice, so I dont slap the mother fucker across the face (despite my desire to), and you know what this son-of-a-bitch says to me????

Prepare yourself. It will be your new most hated sentence on earth, because it's mine...and if I ever hear it again I may crawl into a whole and cry for at least a week straight.

"Wow... your ass sure is soft"

UMMM WTF?!?!?!

You dumb fuck, how in the hell is that a compliment???? TO ANYONE??? Let along a woman flirting on thirty who has to stand next 115 lbs women in skirts that show their hoohaws???

I have never been more insulted in my life.

Fucker COULD have said "Wow, I could bounce quarters off that Ass. But nooooo... the dumb DISRESPECTFUL fuck says it's soft.

Time to bring out the granny panties ladies. I am no longer a hot chick.