Always Check Your Child's Homework

(This is what was turned in. )


(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Smith

New Vibe? Hells ya

Well ladies (and gent) tonight I am out to purchase a new vibe. Mine broke. Don't ask me how. But two weeks without one has been...errr...let's say trying.

3 years ago, a very good friend of mine thought it would be funny to purchase sexually-deprived me a vibe for Christmas (I am not kidding, total joke among friends. Carmen was a prude). That vibe sat in my bedside table for no-less than one year. I don't lie. When I opened that package, destined to figure it all out, I never imagined that everything I had been told would come true. I cried.

Seriously.

Well, that vibe died. And it was a sad day.

I had shopped numerous times trying to find something better... even purchasing another one with multiple speeds and idiotic rhythms, but I soon found out that nothing could replace the original. Purchased at a somewhat lower end 'store' I really and truly believed it was more of a gag gift than the real thing really. Until I couldn't replace it of course.

And now I am left with the chore to find a replacement because it is no longer. Truly, it will never be the same... copied but never replicated.

I feel like I am writing an eulogy to my vibe.

So perhaps next week I will write a post about my new vibe. If its awful, it wont be a nice post. If it's good, I will do my due diligence and give shout outs to the original, but let you all know that I have *at least* managed to find something almost as good.

Wish me luck.

Update

My Sisters in Iowa.

"Janna the youngest, Jerri in the middle with the cheesecake, Jenny in the back and me..the oldest...but cutest. HA!
YES....we all have "J" names. Funny huh?
I wish I had a piece of that cheesecake right now.

Oh the joys and sorrows of "Family STRESS!"
Especially when you are 1000 miles from home. Literally.
We try to stay happy and positive though...even in the midst of it all.

Yesterday my sister Jerri was put into the hospital in Omaha Ne. at the same time my Step Father was having his epidural.
She has "pre-eclampsia" a serious complication in her pregnancy. She is at 29 weeks and the baby is probably about 2 pounds now. It's a little boy.
His name will be "Aaron."

Her blood pressure is SKY HIGH.

Jerri called me a moment ago and I just got off the phone wih her. It's 10:45am her time and our time Friday they still can't get it "under control."

Her Doctor's have told her to "prepare" for the baby to have to be delivered as early as TODAY and if not, it will be tomorrow.

My sister has had Rheumatoid Arthritis, since she was 15 years old. They told her that this IS an issue in all of this.
I have Rheumatoid Arthritis as well but just was diagnosed 3 years ago.

We are very concerned for her and are asking everyone to pray for little Aaron and my sister at this time. I know that the King of the earth will do what is right.

I can't leave to go home yet. I have tried flights all morning. They are currently $300.00 one way. I will continue to watch them. I also have to have the drug study infusion on Monday. Then I could leave after that.

My Step Father DID NOT have all the "surgery procedures" done on his heart yesterday.
Long story of course but....HE DID however have the epidural to ease the pain he has been suffering in his hips.

That was an issue....because the "heart people" were concerned about him being in so much pain when they took him in for surgery.

TODAY the Heart Dr. will do one of the procedures to set the path to do the repair/stint in the bigger "aneurysm on his main Aortic vein."
That will be done next week...

When my sister called me her cell phone was about to die so she asked me to call her back.
When she answered the phone she said...."Mel's Tavern"....ugh!!!
I said to her "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!"
She said......."Well we have to keep our humor".....which we are famous for, all of my sisters and I.
To which I responded..."I think your right!"

I have to tell you though. I have a huge headache right now.
And I HATE waiting....I am not one to wait well.
Yet I have no choice but to continue to "wait" until something works out for me to get up there.

A Mooney Marketing Tip - Coffee Mugs

I love my coffee. As a result, I get a LOT of mugs for Christmas, birthday, Valentine's Day... you name the occasion, and I'll get at least one new mug out of it. That's all fine and good, but I have a limited amount of cabinet space for all my mugs. And although I do appreciate the gift, sometimes I have to let some go.

So here's what I do:

Take a coffee mug and fill it with all sorts of items. Pencils, pens (especially ones with your logo), colorful paper clips, notepads, etc. make a good display. Or fill one with a beanie baby, balloons, a few pieces of candy, and voila! Your local dollar store or Hobby Lobby/Michaels has that cellophane wrap that you can wrap it in, attach a bow, and there ya go!

So the next time you have a book signing, give away a few (if my signing is for 2 hours, I give away a mug every half-hour or hour, depending on how many mugs I have.) Must be present to win. :)

Calvin and the Snowmen - Take Fourteen and Fifteen!

And now for the last two of this series!

THE END!

Ooops. Later.

Castle's Keep was supposed to be released today, but for some reason it wasn't. I will let everyone know when it does get the okay.

Thank you for your patience! :D

*****

Edited to add that I received word from my publisher. Seems there was a slight goof-up on the release schedule. But I'm on the Coming Soon list! :D

Do You Believe in Hell?

Do you believe in hell? Do you believe that unsaved people will go to hell? What is your idea of hell? Please explain your answer.


Tags: God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, Heaven, Hell, Fallen Angels, Unsaved Souls, Eternal Damnation, Fires of Hell

Posted by: Mel Avila Alarilla

Philippines
Viewpoints/Opinions

NEW! CASTLE'S KEEP, an erotic fantasy romance novella

Castle's Keep
an erotic fantasy romance novella
Now Available from Red Rose Publishing!
www.RedRosePublishing.com

He was a man angry at an accident which left him forever incapacitated.
She was a woman disfigured and empty.
Add one immense painting imbued with a magical ability,
and the resulting enchantment changed more than just their lives.
It changed their world.

Read an excerpt here.

My Step Father.......

(My Mom and Step Father two years ago.)

My family back home in Iowa are waiting this morning to hear if my Step Father will be in for a big surgery this morning.

Please be in prayer for my Step Father, Glenn Hightower.

He's been in the hospital in Iowa (where my main family lives) for over a week now.
He has been in terrible, terrible pain and the EMS took him there last Tuesday.

They have ran test after test and Saturday they discovered that he has an "aneurysm on his main Aortic vein in his heart."
Along with some major Arthritis in his hips.

My family back home has been through a journey this week trying to figure out what the various Dr.'s involved were going to do to help him.
Because they weren't doing anything and were not on the same page and no one was informing our family as to what was happening.
Not counting that the hospital wanted him out of there because the Insurance companies won't pay to keep him there for non treatment, blah, blah, blah.

In fact they were to ship him off to a nursing home yesterday.

The Heart surgeon didn't think he could take a surgery...because he's already in so much pain and not well at all.....and the Orthopedic guy wouldn't do anything because of the high risk with the heart issue.

But yesterday my sister Jenny who has basically been handling this whole situation and has been the one to get some answers... finally got the Ortho Dr. to agree to do some sort of epidural for him to relieve the pain for him this coming Friday..then tonight.....the Heart guy told her that ......
"They had decided (the Ortho and the Heart guy finally got on the same page) to do the ENTIRE surgery and more tomorrow if all his blood work came back fine"......
He needs two stints put in because now they have found another "weak artery" and the epidural for the hip pain. They figured they might as well do it "all" once they got him in there.

Which has been my greatest concern more than anything.

Today is his BIRTHDAY and he has turned 82.(This is a photo of him in Hannibal Mo. his hometown a few years ago.)

He is not in good health and hasn't been for many years now .......so this surgery concerns me and my sister very much.

We haven't told our other family members (like my Mom) but this isn't rocket science either and I am sure they feel this way as well..

All of this news came on top of my other sister Jerri just being diagnosed with
"Pre-Eclampsia".......she is about 5 months pregnant with her first child at 38 year old.
She lives with my parents and drives for them because my parents do not drive.

My Mother is to have a surgery next month as well. She isn't in the best of health either.

Ever since the news came to me on Saturday I have been wrestling with wether I should go home to help.
And I really want to go.
It's just "distance and the timing" of it all this that is the hinderance.
I've been praying about this and pricing flights (which are way over priced of course)....and now with the bad weather up there it's not even thinkable right at this moment for me.

Many of you know that I am also myself in a "Drug Study" currently for "R.A." and I have got to do that med infusion on Monday or risk being removed from the study. So that holds me here as well for now.

PLEASE pray with me that Glenn comes through this surgery alright and recovers.
And if it is the Lord's will indeed that I can get up there before too long.
I had planned on going up there for two weeks in mid February. And IF I have to go sooner I will but I don't want to go home for a funeral.

My heart is breaking because I am so far away from my family at a time like this.

I knew when I moved away that this would all happen one day.
Just as it did for Don when both of his parents became ill and passed away.
And now "that day" has come for my side of the family......


It will take me two days to drive home and I don't have anyone to come with me in the dead of winter. And it's brutal up that way right now.
IF I fly.....it's over $500.00 for a plane ticket right now and there are still travel issues in that realm as well.

So I am torn regarding the trip to Iowa.
And I want and need to go home to be there for my Mother and my family.
But God knows all this......

Please pray for my Step Father's soul to be at peace with his Heavenly Father.
That part torments me worse than the "how's and when's" of traveling back home issue.
I need comforted in that area.
Regardless of what happens...whether I make it up in time or not.
I need to know that my Step Father is going to be "okay in his heart"..and not due to the surgery.
Believe me I have learned that there that there IS a GREATER "Surgeon" already at work. And I am thankful for that.

Thank you for your prayers...

From My Kindergarten Dictionary

beetsah

New Page - Fresh Start

It appears that Carmen101 was being viewed (and commented on) by haters, so I have decided to change the address and only give out the address to those I want reading this.

I find it completely immature that I even have to do this...even having to moderate my comments... BUT it gets increasingly frustrating when 'randoms' feel it is necessary to try and post stupid shit in order to get me riled up. WHY BOTHER? Is it fun for you to piss me off?

So, new Disclaimer:

IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, FUCK OFF AND READ SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG

There was a time when I actually cared a great deal of what was thought of me...and it bothered me a lot when I thought someone didn't like me...(and there is still a big part of me that wonders what the hell I did to even have haters) but even after a few years of 'blog-abuse' I still don't have much of a thick skin; it still hurts, it still bother me, albeit to a bit of a lesser degree. So now, at almost 30 years of age, I am having to remove my blog, my venting sanctuary, to start over and try and avoid these haters once again. I feel so high school right now.

So yeah - FUCK OFF. You know who you are. I don't have the time, nor the desire to keep catering to your shit.

HeartCrystal is Now Available in Print!

HeartCrystal, the sequel to HeartFast, is now out in print!

You can get your copy at the Whiskey Creek Press Torrid website, or you can get a personally autographed copy from me! Just go to my website www.LindaMooney.com and use the secured site order form.

Calvin and the Snowmen - Take Twelve and Thirteen!

It's peanut butter and jelly time!

Ok, we can all agree the snow kinda sucks... especially since it was starting to look like we COULD get some warmer weather earlier this year. And really, who likes driving in the snow? This is the time when all the stupid people decide its appropriate to get on the roads and completely piss off all the other people who KNOW how to drive in it. (I don't, but I like to pretend I do!)

But I can honestly say I am kinda thrilled with it all. I don't necessarily LOVE the snow... don't get me wrong, but I LIKE the snow...and this means more time to *possibly* go sledding with Sadie and THAT I look forward to. So yeah, despite all you haters cursing me right now, I hope it sticks!

This Friday I have organized a super special girls night of Porn shopping, Wii Mario Kart and some Wii Fit, all snuggled together with a shit load of red wine. Can it get any better than that?! Of all the years I have spent getting gussied up for the bars, THESE nights are the ones I enjoy the most. And trust me, we get rowdy. And E plays Bartender which works out splendidly because we don't have to tip :-) Well, I do... but I don't need to get into that here. *wink*

In other news - I was kinda half hoping I would see a post on Mr.Mulgrew's blog about his Canadian stalker after my break-up post with my pseudo-boyfriend... but alas, nothing. He's lost that lovin' feelin' I guess. Sorta solidifies the whole 'Carmen is crazy' talk that I am sure is floating around somewhere. Quick, google it. I don't have a clue who Carmen Rasmusen is, but Carmen Electra works for me! (totally random, I know, but that's how I roll)

Now, off to find me some peanut butter and jelly. A sandwich I wouldn't have touched with cold dead fingers as a child, but for some reason, TOTALLY CRAVING. (if I hear preggo talk you all die). They say your taste buds change every 7 years, and I have never really tested the theory. Other than my pain tolerance for spice, I can't name anything else that I have disliked and one day just liked. I still hate popcorn. I just lied to you - I can name one more thing... SQUASH! I HAD some deep rooted issues with it m' thinks cause I couldnt even stand the sight of it... until recently... and now, I kinda like it... kinda a lot. Lots of melted butter, salt and pepper to taste... Yum yum! My parents had a veggie garden when we were kids, and it was like squash one day, turnips another, then beets (ugh, I'm gagging)... and seriously, I think I mentally overdosed on the grossness of it all.

I changed my mind, I don't want peanut butter and jelly anymore.

I want squash.

Whipped Cream Has Me Spotlighted Today!

I love Google Alerts! They just sent me this notice.
Whipped Cream is Spotlighting Whiskey Creek Press Torrid and HEARTFAST today!

http://whippedcream2archives.blogspot.com/2009/01/tuesday-spotlight-whiskey-creek-press.html

Why I Love Kids...One More Time!

Calvin and the Snowmen - Take Ten (and Eleven)!

I thought a double dose would be nice. :)

Mondays Suck

I hate Mondays. I am sure that I have expressed this before. And you all know I hate Thursdays. Give me a few more years and I am sure I will hate every day ending with 'day'.

Today royally sucked monkey balls. Sweaty gross monkey balls. First, XAWBF is still ignoring me. To the point I am being asked by other coworkers what's going on. Nice. Love it. Miss Carmen the bad guy. Fun. I just love being put on the spot and being uncomfortable. Fuck.

Second, another co-worker decided not to come in today which left me covering because no one else could, which in turn completely fucked me over in regards to my schedule. Like, completely fucked me over. Good luck to me on finishing some set-up that I HAVE to before Wednesday. Seriously, FUCKED UP.

Thirdly, I am seriously having issues wrapping my head around this GIGANTIC project (not to mention asking XAWBF for help, which sucks when you are being ignored. Very painful.) that is taking up almost all my time. My head hurts. Fun stuff no? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Did I just type all that and have it make any sense?

Probably not. And I don't give a fuck. Venting doesn't need to make sense.

Fuck Mondays. They can blow me.

Well, lets be fair, at least THIS Monday does. I always have Tuesday to look forward to.

For Bernideen........and Jennifer

I'm only doing this because "Bernideen" in Colorado tagged me asking me to do so.

AND because my sister Jenny in Iowa asked me last night to "PLEASE change out that photo of the dead Rosemary because I'm getting sick of looking at it."
Humpf!
I think it's just because she was jealous because it was 71 degrees here.
And probably about 2 above there.

Here is my photo number #6 well, it's number #5 actually because my number #6 was super blurry and you wouldn't have wanted to see it.

This is a copper teapot I bought at a Flea Market in an area where we used to live further south in Louisiana.

I took it to a local florist in our town to have her make it into a "centerpiece" and she came up with this....

It sits atop my little "Tea Shelf" that my husband made for me several years back.
And I love it. The shelf and the centerpiece. HA!

I'm terrible at these "meme" things.....but I try to oblige, when I am able to do so.


***Here are the rules to the "6th Picture Meme:"

1. Go to your Picture Folder on your computer or wherever you store your pictures.
2. Go the 6th Folder, then pick the 6th picture in that folder.
3. Post that picture on your blog and the story that goes along with the picture.
4. Tag 6 other people that you know or don't know to do the same thing and leave a comment on their blog or an e-mail letting them know you chose them.


I'm not going to personally invited anyone to do this via e-mail....if you see this on here and want to do it.
PLEASE "be my guest."

No pressure that way for anyone. It's all pure fun.

Do You Believe In Heaven?

Do you believe in heaven? Do you believe that people who are saved will go to heaven? What is your idea of heaven? Please elaborate your answer.

Tags: Heaven, God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, Children of God, Bliss, Eternal Life, Salvation, Faith, Hope, Love, Grace, Amazing Love, God is Spirit, Worship, Glory, Honor, Power, Wisdom

Posted by: Mel Avila Alarilla
Philippines
Opinions/Viewpoints

From My Kindergarten Dictionary

chocklick

Dear Linda: Regarding What Makes a Best Seller

Dear Linda,

I noticed the new sign on your My Space. I was wondering how your books become best sellers, and how do they get the number one ranking? Please don't get me wrong. I think you deserve it. Does your publisher make the decision, or did you?

Dear Reader,

Designating a book to be a Number One Best Seller is done differently at every publisher. Some publishers have a Top Ten list on the main page of their website, and many authors who see their books sitting on that list will put the Best Seller status in their signature lines. Or if they see their book sitting on that Top Ten list on Fictionwise, they will give themselves the designation.

At Whiskey Creek Press, both mainstream and torrid line, there is a Top Ten list on the main page. That's not the one to watch. :) Look for their Best Seller list at the top, right underneath the header.

Every month, every book sold is tabulated, including sales from the main website, Fictionwise, ARe, and all other third party sellers including Amazon. The book that sold the most copies for that month is designated the Number One Best Seller. A congratulatory letter is sent to the author by the publisher, in this case by the Womacks, who own WCP. There are ten books counted altogether in the Top Ten List for the month.

As of today, my first five books I released with WCPT all were given the Number One Best Seller designation by the publisher. And according to the Womacks, I am the first WCPT author to have Five Consecutive Number One Best Sellers.

Thank you for your query!

Calvin and the Snowmen - Take Nine!

Tis' A FINE Friday........

71 degrees outside here.....so far.
(My Rosemary Topiary Wreath isn't looking too good is it? Blah!)

I went out and sat on the patio and soaked in some of the fresh air and sunshine.
There is NO humidity today.
Absoluty a fine day.

I'm going to have to work on that Rosemary.

I was able to get my panises planted last night.....yes, I was working in the dark!

Because I was out way to late while enjoying my day visiting at lunch with the
"Pool Ladies" and then I was off to the library to pick up some good, new books to read.

Then to top it all off I went to pick up some more of my favorite "Lady Londonderry" tea that I just ran out of, from my good friend Marsha.
So of course I had to stay and "visit and sip some tea with her."

SO I didn't get home until dark......

And the pansies just couldn't wait any longer so I had to plant them.
With the help of our "outside" yard lights of course.

All went well and now they are now currently "adjusting" to their new home.

Happy Birthday, Branson!

You're One Year Old Today!

Mean People Suck

...funny enough I am talking about myself.

Yesterday I got mad. Well, I'll lighten that a bit and just say I got slightly angry. And the most ironic part? I can't really say what exactly made me mad, because I don't really have a clue as to what I want from the situation.

As a woman...we are allowed that right I think (it's the double standard rule).

Fuck emotions huh? They always seem to get in the way of the important stuff like maturity. Stubbornness is also a root cause I am sure. But the basis of it all is - I WANT MY FEELINGS TO COUNT. I want to be asked if *I* am OK too. But, I can't shake the nagging thought that if I did get that, would it still be enough.

Back to the original statement about not knowing what I want out of the situation. God I so encompass the hormonal female don't I?

But I digress again and again... because the bottom line is that I got mad and I was mean. I wasn't terribly mean by any long stretch, but I am not a mean person at heart, so it really bothered me that I said a few things that probably hurt someone elses feelings because I truly believe in the 'treat others as you want to be treated' mantra. I am sorry, but I can't take them back. That bites.

So for all you people out there that have been confused by all my cryptic writings in regards to this situation... here is the Cole's Notes:

I have the 'guy friend' who I really enjoyed spending time with, talking to, listening to, and just basically getting to know. He is married (some of you know this) and his wife has trust issues. She found out we were friends, blew a gasket, and now he is no longer allowed to associate with me (again Cole's Notes, bare with me). I am UBER sad about all this because well, I was being made out to be some kind of predator or something... like I was out searching to destroy a family or something! That said, I had my own problems to deal with (which you are aware of) and my own family issues that needed and still need work... that all this combined together almost put me over the edge I tell you!

Now, I am sad that we have to ignore each other when we see each other... but really, that is sort of why I am angry...or WHY I got angry yesterday. I felt dehumanized. I felt like a piece of dirt that could be swept under the rug because my feelings didn't matter.

Make sense?

So again... encompass the hormonal female? Am I being too sensitive? Am I being a big baby? Sometimes I wonder. Because really, in the grand scheme of things, my life isn't missing something important because he isn't 'allowed' to be my friend... it's not like we were even friends for a long time. Maybe it's just the fact that I have no control of the situation? That feeling 'out-of-control' is what's really bothering me?

Fuck, who knows. This post was really more about me being mean and feeling remorseful.

Fuck.

Do You Believe In The Bible?

Do you believe in the Bible? Do you believe that it is the word of God written through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit? Please explain its significance in your life? If you don't believe in the Bible, please explain why?

Tags: Holy Bible, New International Version, King James Version, Inspiration, Holy Spirit, Bible Verse, God, Jesus Christ, Gospel, Canon, Church, Christians, Believers, Apocryphal, Dogmas, Evangelists

Posted by: Mel Avila Alarilla

Calvin and the Snowmen - Take Eight!

Fictionwise is having a 60% Off Rebate Sale!

Now's your chance! If you've been reluctant to buy that book you've been eyeing, it won't get any cheaper than this! Use your credit card, and you'll be issued 60% of your purchase in rebates - so you can save up and buy more books at a later date!

But you better hurry! This rebate sale could end at any time!

http://www.fictionwise.com/

CUTE, cute, cute!

(One of Susie's signs she custom makes.)

One of the "Local Girls" in my area, who I've become good blog friends with is having a "CUTE, Custom, Homemade, Handmade, Sign Giveaway."

Check out Suzie's blogsite and put your name in for her free give away.

She's name her site fittingly for a South Louisiana girl.

It's called.....
"Bienvenue"
Which all of us living down here know translates into......"Welcome" in French.

Many towns in Southern Louisiana have big signs when you enter the city that say "Bienvenue" on them.....thus giving you a big ol' WELCOME in French into their city!

We lived in an area here in Louisiana for many years that did that as well.
And one other area near us also had all their city "Stop" signs and other city signs in French too.
That's one sure way to learn a bit of the language that so many of the people speak here.
HA!

I just ordered a smaller "M" sign to put in our house!
(Susie's small initial signs)
I can't wait to get it from her!

Great Truths About Being a Parent

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

From My Kindergarten Dictionary

subbletoot

"Dat teacher dat comes in and yells at you when Mrs. Mooney can't come to school."

Vegas Baby! (Again)

Sorry peeps... gonna be a yearly thing, so suck it up!

Vegas is booked, and while it's only 8 weeks away I'm getting antsy! This year will be like no other because I planning ahead and budgeting so I can do more things than hang out in a hotel room drinking my face off.

Two years ago I went with work, then Celyne flew in to meet me and we had two glorious days to ourselves. Other than our one night oof total stupidity where we slept instead of partying, the whole trip was pretty exciting. I am once again reminded of our trip to Madame Toussoud's where I got the shit scared right out of me in the haunted house...and our memory-filled walk to the Indian Reservation store where I drunkily yelling at people randomly walking across the street... but I digress...

Last year, while fun, was kinda less exciting since I was a broke-ass who went home when the show was over. This year, I have two friends flying in (YA SARAH AND V!!!) and we ARE going to get out and experience the Vegas nightlife. Nightclubs, strip bars, awesome eats, and of course gambling... ok, no gambling, I suck at it, and maybe a show or two. At a discount of course, I will always be cheap! We are staying at the Excalibur...one of which I haven't heard anything negative about... well, except children... which kind of suprises me...but since I don't plan on spending any time there, I won't worry about it. I love kids, just not in Vegas, capiche?

So... if anyone wants to fly in and come hang out with 4 hot chicks (a co-worker is staying as well)...the book now because room-rates are like $36 a night and you can't beat it Visit here to book.

I am sad...

...but it comes and goes. Overall I'm not sad... I'm just sad when I think about the friend that I lost. Its weird to go from talking everyday to going a whole week with nothing. And everytime I think about it, I get sad just a little bit.

I hate being crytpic...sorry guys.

I just miss my friend. Boo urns

How to Stop Piddling, Part Two

Yesterday I spoke about piddling, which is wasting valuable writing time doing absolutely nothing worthwhile. I gave a few examples of things I do while AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD. Today I want to mention a few things I do ON THE KEYBOARD that 1. can't be considered time wasters because they need to be done, and 2. give me enough of a break so I can go back and work on my book again with a refreshed perspective.

* work on your webpage (If you don't do your own site, peruse your own to see if there are any mistakes or improvements/additions you could make.)

* check ARe and Fictionwise to see what's hot - it might spark an idea for a new book!

* pull out another WIP, PRINT IT OUT, and begin editing it (I don't know why, but for some reason having the printed sheet in my hand gives me a whole new slant on the book, and I can see problem areas/mistakes that I never caught while editing directly off the monitor.)

* sites like MySpace and RomanceWiki are worth the time and effort to open and keep current (I've gotten many hits on my website from those places. Did they result in sales? I can't say for certain, but the hits alone are reason enough to keep them open. And they're FREE!)

Calvin and the Snowmen - Take Seven!

(Click on picture for larger version.)

Do You Believe In Miracles?

Do you believe in miracles? Please explain your answer.


Tags: Miracles, God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, Bernadette of Lourdes, Incorruptible Body, Exhumation, Signs and Wonders, Faith, Nothing Is Impossible With God

Posted by: Mel Avila Alarilla

How to Stop Piddling

Every so often I get an email from a reader who's just discovered I teach full time, which means my writing is relegated to evenings and holidays. Seeing what I have out, what's soon to come out, and what's in the works, at some point I get asked, "How are you able to write so much?"

Well, my momma had a word for it. Piddling. It's that time you waste sitting at the desk, staring at the computer monitor, and wondering where to take your story. Many author friends I know tend to go to their email loops. Some blog. Others get on the phone and call up their author friends or family. But most stay online and on the internet looking for something to catch their eye.

Bottom line, it's wasted time.

When I get to those moments where I need to write myself out of corner, or find a bridge from one plot dilemma to the next, I do one of the following. In short, I GET AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD. Take anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes, and I can come back refreshed, or with a new idea in mind.

These are a few of my solutions, remember. They might not work for you, but you never know. And it's amazing what gets accomplished in the meantime!

* bag up 5 things from my closet or drawers I no longer can wear, and pop in the trunk to take to Goodwill

* check the calendar - is there someone you need to send a card to?
* empty or reload the dishwasher (add wash the dishes, too)

* put a load in the washer/dryer (add fold a load)

* take out the trash

* start to straighten/clean a room (done in stages, it works!)

* pay a bill

* make a grocery list/to do list

* let the dog out (or give it a bath)
* read the newspaper

Later I'll give a list of things I do WHILE ON THE COMPUTER that doesn't waste my time.

Why I Love Kids...Still Yet Again!

History Of The "King Cake"..............part #1

Several people have asked me about the traditions and history behind the "King Cakes" that we in Louisiana, and else where, divulge ourselves in eating this time of year.
I'm going to break this into two posts so as not to "bore" anyone so please stay tuned for "part deux."

King Cakes not only have a rich and wonderful taste to them, but they have fascinating stories behind their existence.

It's the classic tale of "paganism, religion, greed, murder, and mystery, glorious food, celebrations, holidays, babies, rich Rulers, Kings and Queens and power, revivaly, foolishness, masks..........

Oh GOODNESS!
My mistake.
I started to tell you about "King Cakes" and went off into "Louisiana Politics" instead.
HA!
Terrible of me. I know.

Well, moving along....let's just say that all those things mentioned previously are involved in the story of the "King Cake" as well.

In fact. It's very complicated and if you read and study you will find tons of information. Most of which you will never need in life. HA!

So let me just "condense" the vast history on this one sweet pastry for all of us.

And then I will give you some of my own thoughts and experiences as well along the way.

"Cake" somehow gets thrown into the MIX of "Twelfth Night" which if you know nothing about..... let me give you this much to go off of.

"Twelfth Night" is the day in which the event of the coming of the "Wise men bearing special gifts to the Christ Child" is celebrated.

This celebration is ALSO called "Epiphany, Little
Christmas, or the Twelfth Night." One of the most popular customs in this celebration of giving gifts is the
baking of a special cake in honor of the three kings.
Hence...."The King's Cake."Makes sense to me so far. Sort of.

Inside of the cake somewhere is a plastic baby. The tiny plastic baby is supposed to represent the Christ Child.
The person receiving it is to have "good luck" and blah, blah, blah, but MOST importantly....they are to "buy the next King Cake" which sort of represents.....one of the Kings bearing a gift. It's odd but that's what is is supposed to mean.......but HONESTLY.....I have NEVER known that person getting the baby to buy the next King Cake. Hummmm........
What's wrong this that tradition because it's not working??

In fact.....just the other day in my very own house. Just moments after writing my first post regarding the King Cake we had gotten......ONE of my precious children got the "Baby" in a piece they must have taken to eat..... and didn't even acknowledge that they had gotten it.

I just so happened to "stumble upon" the baby all dirty with cake stuff on it just "thrown" in the BOX still.
Ummm.....when I went to get another piece. UGH!
(sorry for the blur....)
I still don't know who got it but I'd like them to "fess up" and get that next King Cake here because we are out of it now....and need another.
Dirty rats!!(Fuzzy little baby Jesus replica)
(This is a better example of the "baby.")
Anyhow.......in Louisiana, Twelfth Night also signifies the beginning of the carnival season which ends with Mardi Gras Day.

The New Orleans connection/tradition, which begun in the 1870s, is very, strongly ingrained with European customs.
As part of the celebration of Mardi Gras, it is traditional to bake an oval cake in honor of the three kings - thus your "King Cake."

The shape of a King Cake symbolizes the "unity of faiths." Which is interesting because not ALL "faiths" participate in all these customs or even know what they stand for.
However,many DO eat the cake.
Like us. HA!

The cake is decorated in the traditional Mardi Gras colors which you will see EVERYWHERE you go in Louisiana right now....
These colors are said to stand for: purple represents justice, green represents faith and gold represents power.
And don't forget...again most important...each cake has a small plastic baby, symbolizing the baby Jesus, inside of it.

Some bakery's leave the baby out of the cake but included inside of the cake box for you to put in the cake at your discretion. People don't want "sued" over someone "swallowing the baby" or damaging your teeth.
The place we buy our cakes at......puts the baby right in the cake so look out.
I will however write more on "King Cakes" and what they taste like and costs and flavors and such and possibly touch a tiny, tiny, bit on this "Mardi Gras" thing if I am in a good mood next time.
Cheers!
Joyce

Six Things That Make Me Happy

Celia Yeary, fellow Texas ARF author, has tagged me to list 6 things that make me happy.

Okay. In no particular order:

1. my husband - we've been through hell and back, and I love him all the more for it.

2. getting good news from my publisher about my books

3. my grandson Branson (see pic above)

4. WRITING - I am SO looking forward to retiring from teaching so I can do this Full Time! Yay!

5. doing odd little things for people, and watching their reaction

6. finally getting a new bathroom with a soaker tub!

Rules: Link to the person who tagged you (I was tagged by Celia Yeary at Authors and Books - http://authorsandbooks.blogspot.com/2009/01/tag-youre-it.html).
Write down six things that make you happy.
Post these rules.
Tag six others (optional).
Notify me when you've posted, and link back to each other.

For All the Mothers Who Can Relate

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!"