um hi. So here's a funny story....i wrote out a nice LONG post to you all only to be an absolute tool and go to Google to find the definition of mistress....but I did it in the same fucking browser so I lost everything. Who fucking DOES that?!?!?!

Ugh, me. Anyways....

if you count getting shitfaced every day for the last two weeks for shits and giggle as being busy, then I have been busy. So no complaining about my lack of posting. in fact, i think its in my disclaimer or something... i am going to add it in at the bottom of this post just to cover my ass.

Kidding.

*about the shitfaced part, the rest is true, swear*

And that means i don't have an excuse. But lets be fair, work has been chaotic. and I really shouldn't call it work cause its really the thing i get to do every day that i love. YUP,.... you read that correctly, i FUCKING LOVE THE THING I GET TO DO EVERY DAY. it seriously rocks. You know what happened like two Fridays ago? I got a brand new spanking laptop, a new PDA as a phone, and... *drum roll please*...$200 to Spa Utopia. Like who fucking does that?!?! Seriously, you think they like me? I'm so happy i could cum.

I hope my brother read that. LOL

So umm..back to why i googled the definition if mistress.... I was asked yesterday by a very hot ex (no joke, he used to model...and if didn't think it was a privacy issue and there was zero chance i could my ass sued off, i would post a pic) who makes 140 k plus profit sharing, if i would be his mistress...

mis·tress (mĭs'trĭs) n. A woman who has a continuing sexual relationship with a usually married man who is not her husband and from whom she generally receives material support.

Now, sounds good, no? Except he isn't married. He is in a relationship, and SHE is hot as hell too (which beings me to the next question, why ME?) But doesn't that sort of disclude (totally not a word and i dont care, ask spell check) the term "mistress'? The proper way to ask should have been 'hey, wanna have an affair on our sig others, cause we are too commitment phobic to be married?' That seems more fitting to me

Oh, wait. Its E whose the commitaphobe (spell check hates me), I'm clear.

So now that's out of the way...whatcha think?!?! Lets be serious here...he WASN'T serious. He was just looking for some ego stroking (or something else stroked) so I didn't fall for the bait. BUT, if he offered me diamonds, cash, cars, clothes, etc... it *might* be a different story. Any ideas on how to explain those things away *if* I happen to be given some? You know, cause e might ask... ?

I am TOTALLY KIDDING.

You know what sucks...? Is I actually have to add that disclaimer every so often so people get it cause for some DUMB reason I am taken so literally sometimes. If you refer to the actually header of my blog it basically summarizes the fact that I am almost never serious. But who makes bets that someone takes what I wrote here and wonders WHO the guy is??? I'm not telling. that part is true.

LOL