It’s Monday.
YAY.
I am feeling a little worse for wear this morning. Actually, does that sentence even make sense? Whatever.
This weekend was a rough one. I am clearly too old for this shit. Especially since I was drunk Saturday, not last night, so why the heck am I STILL RECOVERING TWO DAYS LATER?
Well, it might have been the trampoline.
Let me explain.
As a child, I never had a trampoline. When I was growing up, they were all the rage too. Every second house on our block had one. Maybe more. I think I may have some feelings of deprivation actually. Regardless, I now have a small obsession with them, despite the fact I am as awkward as a two year old trying to ride a bike without training wheels. Plus, I look completely stupid.
First, I started jumping in a dress. Not a good plan (especially for those of us that believe panties are for pussies). So I made the right decision and went and put pants on. You know, to keep all the boys off of me. Secondly, I jumped in between games of flip cup.
This, my friends, is a drinking game that leaves you completely shit-faced.
I won’t lie to you, I fell off the damn trampoline. And it wasn’t graceful. No one has ever accused ME of being graceful.
So today, two days later, I am SORE. And I HURT. And that DAMN TRAMPOLINE gets my Monday Shank for being a total douche-canoe and letting me jump on it while I was shit-faced. Because I take no responsibility WHATSOEVER.
Stupid trampoline.
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