Another year, another trip to Vegas

I realized today that I haven't posted at all about Vegas this year. Sure, the trip is always in the first few months of every year, but in the past I have always done somewhat of a countdown.

Can you tell I am not as excited as past years?

Vegas 2010 was a bit of a downer I would say. I was 7 months pregnant and really not prepared for the craziness of Vegas, nor was I even remotely interested in it. I was asleep by 9pm every night and STILL tired the next morning. I went about my merry way, back and forth from my hotel room to the trade show, then made my way home without experiencing much of Vegas at all.

When you go every year, it somehow loses it's luster.

This year, I have a baby just barely 9 months old that I can hardly stand to leave when I go to work in the morning, let alone leave him for a week. Sure, he is in capable hands with his Dad and big sister... but that isn't what bothers me. I am not emotionally ready to handle this separation! My little man and I have a special relationship that ONLY we have. Our routines are ours, and ours alone. My biggest fear is he is going to stare at me blankly when I get home; that the one week I am absent his whole life will be changed forever and he won't remember that special bond that we have.

I am such a dumb ass I know.

Waking up in the morning in a lonely cold hotel room is going to silently kill me every day. I won't be able to pull that gorgeous little bundle out of his crib and snuggle his neck. I won't be able to fix him his bottle and lay him down with Baby Einstein in the morning. I won't be able to lovingly pick out his awesome outfits every morning. I won't be able to strap his smiling face into his car seat and watch him tap his feet to the music. I won't be able to sit in the bathtub with him and pour water over his head while he giggles uncontrollably. Iw on't be able to feed him in his high chair desperately trying to keep his hands from grasping the dish. I won't be able to blow raspberries into his unbelievably kissable neck.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING TO MYSELF?!?!

And whoever said I wasn't the mothering type! Sheesh, I am wiping tears as we speak!

Wish me luck everyone. I am going to need it!