This was me.......

"Hope ever tells us tomorrow will be better."
- Tibullus-

This was me yesterday....very weak, in severe pain, achy all over....and swollen ~UGH~
Regardless of the fact that even after "upping" all that I could med wise...
I still wasn't much better all the way until late evening.

I laid in bed most of the day and read "Jane Eyre" which helped me progress through it nicely. I usually just read a bit of whatever book I am in at the moment each night.

The humidity was (and still is) WAY up and the weather was gloomy and bad for the most part of the day. Which probably was why I was the way I was......today is a bit better for me but the humidity is still very high.

When I finally got out of bed today I had a phone call on my answering machine from a lady calling from a "research" group asking to talk to me.
I apparently have been "referred" by my R.A. Specialist to "participate in a group study on Biological drugs for
Rheumatoid Arthritis."
I haven't called them back yet because I need to think and pray on this one a bit.

Yet on these types of days I want to scream......"yes, give me whatever you got."
I really just want to be healed and finally "fixed" of this you know? And get my normal life back.

I haven't said much about it all lately because I feel so fortunate really......
Because I am not always like this and so many other people have such worse battles than I do.

In some ways though I feel I need to use my voice to helpraise awareness to this thing because so many others, including children suffer with it....yet in other ways....
I don't want it to have any "glory."
Not in my life at least.

I was at a dinner the other night with some ladies and two of them just happen to do volunter work with a "R.A. summer camp for children" here in our local area.

They were telling me of several very sad cases of children with this debilitating disease. They spoke of a TWO year old that has just been diagnosed. I was so sad to hear that.
I mean it's one thing to be an adult and it's another to be a small child that can't even communicate. That grieves my heart because I have and do feel the pain involved I wouldn't want a child to have to deal with it.

Health woes are not fun. But I haven't given up hope.
Winston Churchill:
"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.
The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

I'm believing for the best.......not just for me.
But also for all of you and yours...... no matter WHAT your battle may be.

Don't give up hoping.