Day One

I have a blog.

Oh, not THIS one. I actually have one. But its pretty lame. I have *I think* 5 readers (whom I love dearly) but I started thinking the other day that my imagination and humor is being wasted by having this silly blog hidden (publicly!) behind my msn messenger. I sort of fancy myself an educated scholar (oh the irony) with so much to say that many of you really do, despite your best efforts, need to hear ! Seriously! I don't lie!

Some say I am funny when I don't try to be, and completely dry when I DO try. So I am going to make the conscious effort to just write what I feel, even if it ends up being paragraph after paragraph of mindless drivel and run-on sentences. If only, and ONLY, to entertain YOU, my loyal reader. And, if I happen to morph into some Sex in the City kind of character because I am sad like that, please don't tell me and just think it ok? Funny, I actually know someone like that and it really isn't funny (wow, day one and I am already making ZERO sense) so I am deathly fearful that you might think that of me! Wow, insecure much?

I drink. A lot. In fact, I might even post drunk and not edit. Please, it is meant to entertain not disgust, so don't take anything I write literal. But if you do, please think its about you because the reactions are always much more funnier than what I actually posted. And now, I guess, would be an appropriate time for my disclaimers....

1. Blogger shall not be held responsible for the things posted here. Despite possibly being true facts, I will always hide behind anonymity by not posting real names. (if you so choose)
2. Blogger will refuse all comments made in hate. Only, AND ONLY, because I am cool and people who hate are NOT cool. Plus, I am better than you
2. Blogger will always be hotter than any of my readers. Nothing more to say about that
3. If you think it's about you, it probably is. So please, comment about it.
4. Blogger reserves the right to be mean. Please read #2 about being cool...
5. Blogger shall not be held liable for slanderous comments. Because they are funny
6. Blogger will use fictitious names if you so ask for that. If you don't, be prepared for a nickname
7. Blogger loves everyone. Seriously.

There will come a time (hopefully sooner rather than later) where I will be documenting a 101 in 1001. Explanation to follow at a later date. I need to do some more reading on the subject before I pretend I know what I am talking about. It sounds empowering, and since I am cool like that, I *may* try it. No guarantees. It was mentioned in an online forum that I participate in and while it grabbed my attention and screamed "Do me! Do me!" I need some time to formulate a plan to maximize the attention I can get from it. Cause it is, and always will be, all about me. Really. The Universe DOES revolve around me. Check the encyclopedia. I dare you.

So Post one, DOWN. I have a few goodies in the bag from my other blog I may cut and paste here before shuttin 'er down. I'm not sure yet. Depends on how much time i have today to sift through mindless drivel. Because, to be honest and without shame, a lot of it IS mindless. See? I can take criticism. Sure, its from me, but criticism nonetheless. Doesn't mean YOU can do it... but still a step in the right direction of becoming a well rounded individual. And I don't mean round in the literal sense. I am still working than one out :)

Happy Thursday!

PS. Please submit all blog requests to eatmyshit@carmen101.blogspot.com