Hanging in there.......

Right now I've been watching a "web streaming live broadcast" online from the "International House of Prayer" it's a church in Kansas City......it's been phenomenal. It's brought me to tears. I always wonder after visiting the campus there which we have several times, and after watching their services online......

"Why can't I find that type of move here in Baton Rouge where I live?" Haven't quite found the answers for that right now.....but I know we are here in Baton Rouge for a reason, even though these past nearly FIVE years have been such a dry, desert place for us.

Regardless of my hearts cry and mind ponderings, I know God is faithful and has a purpose to all things.

Right now the worship team at the IHOP are singing a song and it's a heart cry of mine so I am going to write you a few of the words.......

"I want to be found FAITHFUL, I want to be found STEADY, I want to be found FAITHFUL until the end. I want to live before your eyes, I want to stay before your gaze, keep me steady.
I want to be found FAITHFUL, I want to be found STEADY, I want to be found FAITHFUL until the end. IF I try to save my life I will loose it, but if I loose my life for your sake I will find it in the end."

Yeah, that is my heart cry today and every day. God fulfil your word in our lives!

Okay......while the music continues to play I have to update you all on a few things....here are some needs and concerns I need you all to be aware of.

Right now our good friend Susan's Mother Delores Munson who has been a brilliant woman of God and friend to our family and many on this earth is passing on to her eternal home. The hospital staff pulled her off of all life support at 9:30am this morning and I have been waiting for "the call" that she has has been found "Faithful until the End!" I rejoice that she will be at the gates today and passing through them........maybe even now as I write this.

My husband Don and I will be traveling to Beaumont this Saturday and be there for the family and Don will be doing the visitation and conducting Delore's funeral on Sunday. So please remember us and the family during these days.

This past Monday my Step Grandmother died in Hannibal Mo......her funeral was this morning I am praying for my Grandfather who is 91 and left weak and frail after loosing his second wife to cancer now. Please pray for his soul. I am very concerned about him.

This morning another might woman of God's memory was recognized in Springfield Mo. Joyce Dement, wife of Spud Dement passed away Monday as well. Spud's parent's used to go to our old church Hosanna where we worked on staff at years ago......Don and Spud did the funeral service for Bro. Dement, Spuds Father when he passed away several years ago. Joyce and Spud were Veteran Missionaries to Europe after he worked for many years in Springfield Mo. in the Missions department. This was a sudden illness that came upon her once returning to the States this spring. Her passing will leave a void I know in her family's hearts and in the work they were doing in this world.

Also, Larry and MaryAnn Gutweiler's Mother died this week and her funeral is today as well. Larry and MaryAnn are some of the kindest people in all of Baton Rouge and Larry has a HUGE "internet" prayer and helps ministry along with heading up the Cooking for Christ ministry at HPC. Thank GOD for those people. I like them. No pretense there with them at all.

Busy week at the gates of heaven wouldn't you say??? We don't even know the half of it.
Two teenage girls from outside of Baton Rouge passed those gates this week too......their funerals were held jointly at their church in Walker. They said that these girls "loved Jesus and couldn't wait to get to heaven and their lives were a total witness of God".......this week they got their wishes to get to heaven and they both went at the same time during a fatal car accident. A third teenage passenger survives but wonders why? It's okay.....her "expiration date" just wasn't up yet. Pray for this little girl. She will be needing it in the days/years ahead.

This morning I talked with Shawn Wilkerson who is in Vancouver at this moment with the Missions team from Healing Place church. They need prayer to finish the tasks they have been working on there this past week. They have been able to do some awesome ministry with inner city kids by doing a "Soccer Clinic" and also have been doing some unexpected work at an inner city food type kitchen place called "The Night Shift"......they have had some real eye opening experiences there and I would have to say this has been one of those "divine appointments" for them. VERY COOL!
Remember to pray for them in the next few days as they begin their trip back home to Baton Rouge. They will arrive back here on Sunday sometime around noon or so.


These are the updates for now.........I'm including two photos at the top of this writing.....one is of the Chaissons.....our very good friends. They are heading to their new Missions "outpost" today....it's a long journey and will take them a few days by plane to their destination of "Nauru"......so pray for them please. These are AWESOME servants of the Lord. None better..... that I promise you. I LOVE MISSIONARIES, they are my "heros" in life. Of course my favorite one is Jesus who was the FIRST EVER Missionary to hit planet earth. Thank GOD He came!

The second photo is of a rich bloom on my hibiscus plant on the patio.....things on earth, some are plants some are peopleh..... burning up right now due to the weather and due to lifestyles and they've come to the end of theirselvs or the end of their lives.

Yet, don't loose sight of the beauty that is still out there. The small things that God has made special for us to view......there is still time to focus on people, and things......even the small things God has created for our good pleasure to just look at.
Hang in there folks.....this is something Delores Munson used to always tell me and write to me in cards.......I will now say it in her memory because it's burned in my heart forever because she always reminded me of this truth.......

"WE WIN!!!"

I love me some cowboys!

So we are leaving for Merritt in less than 24 hours. I am unbelievably STOKED. All packed (well clothes anyways!) with the food, booze, and treats all purchased and ready to go!

So now that I am broke… lets hope some nice fellows on he ride back can front us gas money so we can get home HAHAHA!!

Wish us luck, good times, and a safe journey. I’ll write a nice post on Monday to describe the debauchery (if I am not swamped at work for missing two days! Which is likely…so you might have to wait till next Wednesday!)

Oh, and can someone text message me the unbelievable news that Perez can’t reveal till Friday? I am so lost without my internet. (this means you Nadine!)

Wise words on a Sunday

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Someone sent me an e-mail today at the end of it they had signed it this way.
I thought it was good and would share it with all of you.
I needed to hear this myself today.

just a big ol' plain VENT

I guess it’s about time for another vent post huh? It’s been awhile. To preface though, I am really looking forward to next week and my ‘time off’ from life to just relax and be stress-free…It’s just TODAY I am frustrated, and need to get some of it out.

I hate being talked down to, one of my biggest pet peeves to be honest. Maybe it’s the subconscious knowledge that I am not as smart as I *think* I am, or even want to be, but regardless I find it extremely hurtful to be ‘patted on the head’ like a small child. I have opinions, I have thoughts, I have ideas…and they are valid damn it! Yes, I do have ‘blonde moments’ from time to time, and they can even been funny even for me…but I have feelings, and it seems as though lately I have either been more sensitive than usual about it, or it’s just become more frequent.

Take the house renovation for just one example. I don’t have a lot of knowledge about home renovations in the least bit, nor do I pretend to know much. BUT, I do put in the effort to learn. I get in there and do the dirty work because I WANT to do it, because it’s my house too, and because I want it to look a certain way too. I have done quite a lot of things to the basement suite that I have never done before, and besides being proud of what I have done, I am also thrilled that I am learning how to do these things. But with all that, I still feel like I am being belittled, like the cutesy little blond girl who can’t break a nail. (I called myself cute, you heard me…or read me…!) But I have noticed one thing, if I don’t say anything or ask questions, things eventually get done. BUT, if I say anything it will get left to the last minute. That’s not fair. But the renovations are just ONE example where I feel like I am considered a dumb blonde that just needs to be humored when she talks.

I don’t deserve to be told to shut up. I don’t deserve to be talked to like a child. I don’t deserve to be belittled in front of my child, or brought down to her level. I don’t deserve to be ‘patted on the head’ with a patronizing smile. I definitely do not deserve to be considered stupid either.

I guess I am just fed up with it. One time, a long time ago, there was this joke about me. “At least your pretty”… every time I said something that I obviously didn’t think about before I spoke. Yes, I tend to do that sometimes…not because I am stupid, but because I don’t think before I speak. Simple as that. Anyways, it was funny for a bit (sort of like ‘easy like Sunday morning right?!? *private joke*) and even now, I find it funny on occasion because I DO KNOW I don’t think before I speak (I don’t kid myself). But does that make me stupid? Does it mean I deserve to be thought of as stupid???? Am I being too sensitive? Am I driving myself mad with all of this?!?!

YES! YES! YES!

Oh, and who thinks its ‘ok’, to plan a trip away to a lake without your significant other to go hang out with a buddy and their significant other? I don’t. *pout*

Independance Day. Fuckers

Is it Wednesday already?!?! Happy July 4th all you fuckers ‘down there’.

This weekend was a teeny eeny bitty exhausting. So here is the short version of it: Friday night was E’s Birthday dinner at his ‘rents. (Crab and Steak merci beaucoup!) Saturday was a gong show I can’t even remember… moving E’s grandma into a retirement community, getting some work done on the suite (purchasing lino) and cleaning/preparing for the housewarming. Sunday was the party. SO MANY people (i.e.: Kids) that I could barely control my twitch, so much food that wasn’t eaten 9which was shocking considering the amount of people!) And so damn hot! So much for all that rain the weathermen kept predicting, huh?! It was probably 30 degrees mid-day, and the mosquito’s were in full force! For those of you that came, thank you so much for the lovely and thoughtful housewarming gifts!

Monday became the day from hell. It started off good with some lovin’…but that’s about where it ended. We laid down the underpad and carpet for the basement suite bedroom, cleaned up the bathroom a bit, and packed up the trailer with E’s parent’s BBQ and the table for his Grandma. We headed out to Maple Ridge to deliver the BBQ, then to Burnaby to drop off the table. We were running a bit late to meet the lady in Vancouver for all the appliances for the suite (Fridge, stove and stacker washer and dryer) so we bypassed E’s Grandma’s only to get a phone call from the lady that SHE was running late. So we sat around waiting for her in Vancouver for about 20 minutes. Unfortunately, her town house is a three level with about 400 square feet a floor with a winding staircase and none of the appliances were removed, or even unplugged. I am not lying when I tell you it took us (ok, Eric did most of it) two hours to get everything out and into the trailer and truck. Eric not only bashed his finger, but completely stained his shirt and shorts with gross shit that was under the lip of the stove. I think his shins have more bruises that not, and his poor back is STILL aching. And to top off the whole day, we were both still pretty congested from this shitty cold we can’t shake. E is too the point where is breathing is becoming haggard and its waking him up frequently throughout the night. It sucks, because it wakes me up too!

So we are erasing Monday from our memories.

Today I got an email on Facebook from a friend from so long ago. I miss her SO MUCH! She moved to the States on a soccer scholarship while I was in Washing ton getting married (I’m such a tool)… her school was prepared to offer me a scholarship the following year to go play, and I turned it down, only to have it offered to another girl we played with whom I have always competed with. Shame. I can’t wait to catch up!

One more week till Merritt, or should I say, one more week till a complete four day mental shut down?

Giddy up!

GOD bless America!!!

Happy 4th of July!
Don't forget to pray for our troops overseas and here in the States that keep this country FREE!!!

"Concert for Diana".....

This concert event was very surreal for me in many ways. The concert was orchestrated by Prince William and Prince Harry Windsor in honor of the late Princess Diana, whose 46th birthday would have been today.

For a few brief days.....we would have been the same age. I guess that fact alone took me back to the time of her sudden death. It will always be one of those moments for me where when someone mentions an important event and suddenly you remember EXACTLY where you were and what you were doing at the time. I can't really tell you why that happens either......except that this unexpected death was such a sad thing for me and like many of you....I didn't even know the woman.

I think we all felt a "connection" in some way to her. She was a Mother, she was vibrant, she loved people, she was beautiful and then abruptly, without any expectation of it she was gone at age 36. It just was a terrible shock to my system. This was something that I didn't see coming on a Saturday night while ironing clothes, and it was happening to such a seemingly successful and "good" person.

I guess I always felt that she was such a very sad and troubled lady you could see it on her countenance.
She truly was a person very much in the spotlight, not because she wanted to be.....but because of "who" she was connected to.

However, you could not then and still can't today deny that this woman had a big heart and she was genuine and she sure was "seeking" something not knowing what she was looking for. I think she thought it was "love" that she needed, to feel validated. We all knew then things in her life weren't going so grand despite the fact that she was "Her Royal Highness." She became "Royalty made by marriage."
It's the thing fairy tales are made up of, but her life was no fairy tale as we were all learning, we had been witnessing first hand over the past few months and years just what terrible "rejection" the poor woman had gone through.

The night she was killed, I was doing my "Saturday night ritual" of getting my family's clothes ironed and laid out for church. The house was very quiet and for a change....everyone was in bed asleep.

About 10:30pm one of the Board member's wives from the church my husband and I were Pastoring at the time called me and said...."Are you watching the news? Princess Diana has been in a terrible car accident."
I always thought that it was so odd that this particular lady called me that night because she never did like me. Ever. In fact she rarely called me. Though had this lady never of called me, I wouldn't have known the life and death struggle that Diana was going through at that moment. I wouldn't have been a part of seeing and participating in history.

I immediately turned on the TV set and began to watch the news reports on all the channels, switching back and forth looking for new, news and I remember that the incoming reports were scattered. Information was conflicting but it seemed that at the time of these first reports she was alive but in very dire condition. I prayed. I made some phone calls and prayed some more.
I know many people did the same thing this thing at this same time.....this accident didn't didn't happen undercover.

This was Diana's last shinning moment, and many of us, all over the world would unwittingly be a part of her going down in history and into eternity.

Not long after I had turned my TV on began watching the news coverage of terrible accident that she had been in .....the news reporters finally confirmed that Diana had died at a Paris hospital.
I was so GRIEVED. I remember I became totally OBSESSED by the news. I went to my bedroom and lay beside my then sleeping husband, and watched the TV reports and literally wept all night long.

The next day I HAD to go to church. I couldn't just stay home even though I hadn't had any sleep all night long. My heart was so heavy for Diana's sons William and Harry and for the British people because I knew they had suffered a loss and that her children and her people would never be the same again. We had to pray for them. We had to pray they could see God and His loving kindness through this event despite the tragic circumstances that had happened at the end of Diana's life.

During our Sunday morning church service, at prayer time, my husband asked the people to "please pray for the People of Great Britain and the children of Princess Diana".....I could not believe the weeping I was hearing in our church. This of course made me cry even more because I can't stand it when someone is hurting. It hurts me for them too.....even though I myself was hurting terribly on the inside as well.

All of the next few days, me and my family and friends joined all the rest of the world. We watched and mourned with the people of England on the loss of Diana.

Time has now told her story, along with countless book authors, and we all know the good, the bad, and the ugly about her now don't we? Still to me, regardless of how she lived her life, it's all about how she took those last few breaths in her final moments.

You see, she wasn't killed instantly..... she had time. That my friends was the GRACE of God! She was allowed precious time to get it everything "right" in her heart which was at that very moment damaged, and giving up life...yet it was still beating, even after the terrible accident she had just been in.

She had time to make peace with herself and her God and only He knows what happened in the end.

Earlier in this writing I stated:
"This was Diana's final shining moment, and we would all be a part of her going down in history."

In my heart of hearts, I think Diana was a "good person"....still that wouldn't be enough on that fateful, last night of hers in Paris. Not enough to get her into heaven, because being a "good" person or a "charitable" person, or a "loving" person, just wasn't enough for her and it will never be enough for any of us to be guaranteed Heaven.
No matter how many AIDS patients she had encountered and no matter how many Angolan land mine survivors she had held and loved on. It didn't even matter that she met with Mother Theresa, those good things were not going to "add up" for her when it came to eternity.
Diana did alot of "Good deeds" in her lifetime.....probably more than you and I. Yet even though she was a Royal Princess, it couldn't gain her entry into the gates of heaven and it will work the same way for each one of us. We must ask Jesus to come to us, to forgive us and to live in our hearts, even if our heart is like Diana's was...damaged and beating it's final beats.

This final ride of her life lasted only 5 minutes.
Her "life clock" was already ticking once she left the Ritz and sat down in the back seat of the ill fated Mercedes that whisked her and it's three other occupants away. When the Black Mercedes crashed, Diana's "expiration date" was fading fast......the Princess was now slipping into eternity
Yet she still had time.

Time to make the biggest decision of her life. That is why it was so important for those who were praying to have done so during those crucial last few seconds that she had left. Many were interceding on her behalf, praying for her to call out to God with one of her last breaths, to ask Him that she be ushered into heaven and into the presence of "The KING of Kings."

You know what?
I think she got it right and made it right those last few moments of her life.
I really feel that she cried out to God in her pain and despair, passing into eternity and into the arms of the person whom she had been "seeking" for all her life and didn't even know it.
In that Paris hospital, after her heart stopped beating, I think that for the first time ever Diana felt genuine PEACE and love. She then was on her way to her new home one that wasn't built by human hands.